family life – Peaceful Reader

Joys

{made-with-love oatmeal}

Much of being a parent is really difficult. I’ve always said the good, the true joy of being a parent, outweighs all the negative that can and often does happen. This applies to my family completely. We’ve had struggles (key the amen choir) and some times it can be days before true JOY shows it’s pretty head.

My son turns 22 at the end of this month. Shocking-YES. My stepdaughter turned 25 a few days ago. It’s a big birthday month. I received my son’s birthday wish list yesterday and low and behold (cue the choir again) THIS meatless cookbook is on his list. If any of you reading have been following along for years this is the kid who insisted we put meat on his plate at the end of middle school. He was working out a lot, playing hard, and felt like our mostly plant-based diet was not filling him up. He was sick and tired of being raised vegetarian.

This outburst from him prompted me to look into sustainable meat which created a whole new food journey for our family. I started buying meat from local farmers and listened to one of my food heroes Barbara Kingsolver. In Animal, Vegetable, Miracle she says that at one time the only option was to abstain from meat if you were conscientious about your food choices; now there are options so promoting and purchasing farmer-raised meat is good for us and good for the farmer and ultimately good for the environment. So I’m gently patting myself on the back that my son, even though I know he still enjoys meat once in while, is aware of other eating options. Bravo.

Groovy Girl, who really wishes I could come up with a new blog nickname for her, makes me feel joy often but in particular the other day when her braces-covered-teeth were sore she made the request for me to make my special oatmeal for her breakfast. It was the way she said it like she was 7 again and not 14. I rewarded her with a delicious bowl full and mini ones for my husband and I. Truth be told I don’t do anything that special but I do stir it as it cooks which makes it creamy and at the end I add what ever fruit we have and sprinkles of brown sugar and cinnamon. Made with love.

Groovy Girl (the name is too perfect and she’ll be G.G. until the day the blog ends-sorry babe) and I did FaceTime with oldest daughter on her birthday and that was a highlight of my week. She had been at the musical Groundhog Day in NYC so we talked to her as she walked to the train. NY looked magical with twinkling lights and all the activity around her. I can’t wait to be there this summer with her.

Anton, my former student, living with us as an adopted son now is doing really well. He has a job, has his IA driver’s license, and has made a friend. Right now he is outside helping Greg with some chores. Teaching him to be part of the family is probably the hardest hurdle as that’s not something he’s experienced in the same way many of us think about family dynamics; how we work together and communicate. It is a thrill still to have him here.

Happy Halloween!

{The Princess and the Bee}

We’ve had a busy celebratory weekend that started Friday at school with the traditional Halloween parade all around the school. So many happy faces-kids just filled with the joy of childhood.

{Groovy Girl and her painted pumpkin}

{Cinderella teaches 2nd grade at our school}

Tomorrow will be a crazy day at school as kids anticipate their evening of trick or treating around their neighborhoods. They don’t have to worry about the upcoming election, all the political ads, all the negativity! They can dress up and enjoy. It’s also really nice weather here which is great for festivities. We had our annual Fall Fest at church today and it was comfortable playing games outside with a sweater on.

{Hay ride around the neighborhood}

I finally finished The Wind-Up Bird Chronicles by Haruki Murakami; interesting tale, took me a long time to read, and I’m not sure I get it. My take away was that he did everything he could to bring his wife back to him; a lot of strange stuff in between. If anyone knows more about the book I’d love to know. I’m now reading Another Brooklyn by one of my favorite authors Jacqueline Woodson and a new library book, Saving Lucas Biggs by Marisa de los Santos. My 6th grade book club just started The Mark of the Dragonfly by Jaleigh Johnson and I’m excited to see what they think because it is just so different from what they would normally pick up.

{Hansen goes all out}

Planting Dandelions; Field notes from a Semi-Domesticated Life by Kyran Pittman

I bought this book because

a. It has a catchy title
b. My yard is a dandelion happy zone.
c. I know people who know people who know Kyran
d. All of the above

It’s always d. isn’t it?!

I’m not a fan of memoirs, unless they make me laugh, although I would characterize this more as essays on life but who’s asking me. Kyran’s lead an interesting and bold life and she easily pokes fun at herself in a nice witty way. I read her blog now and then, which spurred me to check out the book. Laughter feels good and this book gave me that rare opportunity to look ridiculous, laughing out loud, while I sat for hours waiting for Groovy Girl to finish bending and bouncing her way through gymnastics class.

One particularly funny chapter, Mom, the musical, had the other gymnastic parents eyeing me warily as I freely giggled along:

When I was a kid, about a thousand years ago, Valentine’s Day was all about the valentines, which were painstakingly hand-cut from a book that contained not one licensed, trademarked character. You chose the plainest, slightly backhanded ones for the kids you didn’t like, and the most ornate, gushing ones for the kids you did, and we gave it to each other straight up, without the orgiastic euphoria of corn syrup solids to cloud things. For party refreshments, we had our own tender, young hearts to eat out, I don’t know when that changed, or whether it’s an American thing, but every valentine my kids give and receive comes attached to at least one piece of candy. As if that didn’t add up to enough insulin resistance, the room moms mix up a vat of sugar and red food dye and pour it in a feed trough. Or they might as well, considering what is actually served. If you’ve seen video montages of psychedelic “happenings” in the sixties, you’ve seen something like a modern Valentine’s Day classroom party. On the glycemic disaster index, Valentine’s Day is second only to Halloween. (181)

That’s funny because that’s me except I would beg to bring in a less-sugary option or organic lemonade only to be met with glares from both room moms and kids. My kid, depending on the day and which kid, would either cheer me on or hang their head in shame. I hate red dye and skittles too!

Sliced in between the humor there are many poignant moments of insightful parenting knowledge that only a really good writer can pull from their own daily life. I kept thinking to myself-oh, that makes sense, how come I’ve never thought about that.

Insightful moment about a dead pet:

In my momnipotence, I sometimes forget that my kids came fully assembled. When they were infants, I’d marvel over their tiny ears, how intricately formed they were, pink and golden like the inside of a conch. They were miraculous to me. And humbling because I can’t draw an ear, much less take credit for making one. I lose sight of that from time to time, and delude myself into thinking I’m the auteur of their experience, when actually, I mainly work in catering. They don’t need me directing, feeding them their lines. They get it. The script for life and death, grief and joy, is written in their DNA. (101)

It is difficult to remember that we can step away-our kids do understand at an early age-all the important things that matter and we can be ready for the question and answer segment, which usually comes while we are cooking. I enjoyed how she shared her relationship with her three boys, they sound like interesting and lovely children. While this isn’t a parenting book it did give me some perspective on taking myself too seriously on the parenting front.

Kyran’s theme throughout is that her Newfoundland childhood was unique which fuels her desire for a more ordered life here in the states as she raises her family. Married once in Canada she had an affair with Patrick and it is he that eventually brings her to his homeland of Little Rock, Arkansas. Her and Patrick live the vagabond’s dream as they wander around Mexico for a while and then return to the States broke but in love. He plays in a band and she works as a waitress, high on life and each other until Patrick proposes and the idea of a domestic life looms large over her head, angst follows along with babies.

As a hippie girl myself I try to take the road less traveled and still fit that into my roles of mom and wife. It is not an easy task and there are daily roadblocks. I found Kyran’s struggles with domesticating herself akin to my own story. I can never (well, hardly ever) just accept things and go with it-it’s my cross to bear. Boy Scouts was one example as Kyran writes about the experience of creating Pinewood Derby cars and how turning that block of wood into a finished car with an uninterested husband was quite an accomplishment. We let Teenage Boy, a 4th grader at the time, participate for a few months (he begged) before we had to yank him out because my husband and I were so uncomfortable with the zealous flag waving, burning books mentality. I love my country but not in that way and when we sat down and explained the short list of what we didn’t appreciate about the scouting experience he completely understood-as a fourth grader!

I could easily sit on Kyran’s porch and share a story or two with her and her cozy set of friends. If they’d have me. It’s never easy to leave our roots behind but we have to realize it is exactly those roots that make us the cool, hip parents we are (or hope we are). This book is fresh and amusing with a perfect amount of reflection to make me look at my role through keener eyes. Be forewarned; A fair amount of cursing comes with several of her rants.

Planting Dandelions-the blog.

A Year without Autumn by Liz Kessler

I have to admit I did expect something magical from the woman who generally writes about mermaids but the magic in this tale comes from time travel not ocean creatures.

A Year Without Autumn

Liz Kessler

2011

294 pgs

Summary: Thirteen-year-old Jenni’s much-anticipated vacation with her family and best friend Autumn goes awry when an old elevator transports her to a future in which everything has changed, and she must not only return to her time but find a way to prevent what she has seen from coming true.

Jenni doesn’t choose to travel forward in time; it just happens and what she finds is confusing and unhappy. How did all this mess occur? It takes her awhile to figure out what has happened to make her and her best friend’s life so miserable and then how to sort the trauma into something good. Jenni discovers that a missed horse riding date with Autumn causes a near-fatal accident for Autumn’s little brother, Mikey. The trickle down affect of this accident is what sheds light on a sad future for her best friend’s family and her in retrospect.

This is a wonderful book to share with a friend or a class full of students. Problem solving and cause and affect would be good discussion topics. Jenni grows as a character and I love how this makes her more sure of herself and her friendship with Autumn. You got to trust yourself first. I think young readers (probably girls) will love this time travel book about friendship. It reminded me of that famous line “There but for the grace of God go I”. You never know what circumstances can bring a family down if Autumn’s family can change in an instance.

Random quote:

I slink out of the house like a burglar, silently closing the front door behind me, and head for Autumn’s building.
The lobby is empty. It looks the same as it’s looked every day, the same as it looks every year. The marble walls, the fountain trickling out behind a glass panel, the archway to the first-floor hallway. The elevator. The one we’ve always used. And next to it, the other one: the one that’s never worked. Until yesterday. (146)

While it doesn’t have mermaids for characters this story is a though-provoking twist of fate tale. Perfect for understanding the complexities of family life and how simple moments can change everything.

Flipping pancakes-summer fun!

(She likes a little maple syrup with sprinkles of powdered sugar)

Summer time is all about time for me. Oh, don’t get me wrong-I’m still beyond busy but I take time to do things like make pancakes and waffles for my children because I’m not rushing off to work. They sleep in a bit more also so I can get up do a little writing, then make something fun for breakfast.

I made these pancakes just the other day and still have a small stack of leftovers in the fridge for random snacks. Leftovers~what a great idea!

(adapted from)The Vegetarian Epicure
by Anna Thomas (she wrote this book while still in college!)
(1972)
Vintage Books/Random House

Simple Breakfast Pancakes (186)
serves 3-4 pancake eaters

1 1/4 to 1 1/2 cups unbleached white/wheat flour mix
1 T. turbinado sugar
1/4 tsp sea salt
1 T. baking powder
3 eggs, separated
2 cups milk
1/4 cup melted butter

Sift the dry into a mixing bowl. Beat the egg yolks with the milk and melted butter, and stir into the flour mix. Beat the egg whites until they are fluffy, but not dry, and fold them into the batter. Heat a large skillet or griddle and oil it lightly. Drop pancake batter on by large spoonfuls and brown nicely on both sides. Serve immediately with butter, syrup, honey, yogurt, jam, applesauce, or fresh fruit.

“Fresh fruit and yogurt are especially recommended for a festive and satisfying breakfast.”-those vegetarians-always ahead of their time!!

What do you take extra time for in the summer?

He looks like he should eat 20 pancakes…
love that he is reading while eating.

Calling Invisible Women; A Novel by Jeanne Ray

Calling Invisible Women

Jeanne Ray

2012

246 pages

Jeanne Ray’s latest contemporary women’s fiction novel has something to say about how we allow products to heal ourselves whether they are expensive drugs prescribed by our doctor or Botox-type enhancers that lift money from our wallet for temporary solutions.

Clover Hobart, a fifty-something wife and mother, wakes up one day and discovers she cannot find herself in the mirror after her morning shower. Her first disappearance lasts only a short time but she’s concerned because her son says he can still see her. She thinks she might be losing her mind. When it happens again she locates a group of invisible women that meet at the local Sheraton Hotel. Clover learns that a combination of three medicines all made by Dexter-White, a pharmaceutical company, is what causes many women of a certain age to become invisible.

Through this group she begins to take action as the reporter she once was spurring others to get busy by exploring what they can accomplish as invisible women. Because of her new bravery she stops a man from harassing a woman outside the grocery store, she un-arms a robber in the midst of bank robbery, and she and another invisible woman ride the school bus to corral bully behavior. Eventually she takes on the Dexter-White.

This is a light-hearted look at how easy it is for older women to become invisible in society as what’s young and hip steals focus. I enjoyed the characters, the topic, and I felt more empowered as I raised my fist in solidarity with them as they crafted a plan to bring down Dexter-White.. It is an easy read-it only took my three days to read the book. Ray is the author of Julie and Romeo.

A quote:

“No one is interested in us,” Mrs. Robinson said. “When I look back on my life, I was invisible for so many years before I became invisible. I never did stand up for myself. If you don’t stand up before you become invisible, what chance do you have of making people pay attention to you when you aren’t there?”
“Amen to that,” a voice said. (66)

Reviewed at Dear Author

Louise Erdrich; books with historical significance

I don’t know why it took me so long to discover this wonderful series. Next year I plan to put it on our 5th grade book club reading list. Thank you to V. for pushing me toward this title.

The Birchbark House (1999)

Omakayas and her family are Ojibwe Indians living on Madeline Island. The year is 1849 and Omakayas (Little Frog) is seven years old. She has one older sister, Angeline, and two younger brothers; one a baby and the other, Pinch, is pure trouble. The book is set up on the cycle of the seasons as this small tribe of Ojibwes enjoy the warm days of summer preparing for fall and winter. The snowy months prove difficult for the tribe as many are short on food and sickness robs Omakayas of her baby brother. Erdrich set it up nicely in this seasonal manner to help us feel in the moment with this peaceful tribe. I have a romantic notion for Native tribes and this book shares all the positive as they begin to feel the encroachment of the white man on their land and Omakayas understands more about her gift for dreams.

The Game of Silence (2005)

The sequel to The Birchbark House continues the thread through seasons with several adventures. Another small tribe arrives by canoe, bedraggled and starved, as they escape from the white man and sickness. Old Tallow gets lost during a heavy snow as she searches for game to hunt and Deydey leads the priest on a mission just as the ice over the lake begins to crack and break. Any of these problems demonstrate the difficulties native people had even without the added fear of losing their way of life. Omakayas learns to accept her dreams as she uses a particularly powerful dream to rescue her father. She is a strong and unique young female character who takes pride in her family and the way of life she’s too often taken for granted.

A quote:

“The air cooled quickly. It was a little cold to sleep outside, but Deydey spread out the fire and built it up to a huge blaze. When the fire had all burned down to a bed of coals, he spread out the coals and then all of the family heaped sand on top of the big spread-out remains of the fire. They were making their bed. The soft comfortable sand was their mattress. Underneath, the coals would continue to give off a gently heat. They all lay down under the stars. There were no mosquitos or flies when the air was so chilly. Yet the warmth from underneath kept them comfortable. Deydey made this sort of sand bed often on his trips, and the children loved for him to make it for them.” (72-73, The Game of Silence)

Louise Erdrich’s native heritage helped to shape this series as she recounts events in her own family’s past. I have a few other books ahead of it but I plan to read the third and final book, The Porcupine Year. A post by Carol Hurst talks about The Birchbark House. The Game of Silence is discussed in this article at KidsReads and The Porcupine Year has this article also at KidsReads.

Creepy Bugs

It’s been over a week and my computer has been violently ill. It wouldn’t let me get on our wireless and it was acting just plain loco! The frustration was high when my men were still surfing with their sleek Apples! Ugh.

Lucky I have a wonderful techie friend who’s taken it home to restore it. He confirmed the buggy diagnosis. It seems to be going around as I got a quirky tweet from a friend who thought she’d been hacked-which is how it started for me right before Christmas.

When you haven’t bloged for awhile it feels weird to come back-a little like calling an old friend after a long time. I miss Pinterest and Facebook but really miss my blogging friends!

Some life updates:

-Read emma and me by Elizabeth Flock and Sing Me Home by Jodi Piccoult.
-new refrigerator is backordered but at least ordered.
-today was an awesome SNOW DAY, allowing me to get holiday decorations put correctly back.
-cooked many wonderful meals that I’m anxious to post.

I’m typing on my son’s IPad and hope to have my healthy computer back some time next week.
In the meantime have a peaceful day wherever you are!

This is all it takes for me.

A few weeks ago my husband and I decided we needed to amp up the idea of date night in our relationship. What with kid activities, his many plays and meetings and my school life we some times don’t see each other much in a week. He sent me a text the other day and asked me out on a date and we went today for an early dinner at local sushi restaurant. We each had a salad, several sushi rolls and I had a glass of wine and he, a beer.

Because we like to be efficient we stopped pre-date at the running store downtown to pick up the sneakers he had ordered me for Christmas. After the date I had to stop at our local library to pick up a book for one of my student book clubs. My husband reminded me as we were going in that we had a time limit to get home to the kids.

Within 5 minutes in the library I was able to pick up this stack:

1. Fever; 1793-this is the book I needed for one of my students.
2. The Palace of Laughter by Jon Berkeley
3. City of Bones by Cassandra Clare
4. The Book of Three by Lloyd Alexander
5. The Creative Family by Amanda Blake Soule
6. The Parents We Mean To Be by Richard Weissbourd

Two, Three and Four were all very close to where I looked for Anderson, Laurie Halse and the last two just because I happened passed a display of parenting books. Wow. Just think if he’d given me 10 minutes.

All in all-two errands and a nice dinner made for a lovely night out and we were home by 6:30 with a pizza for the kids. Hope your day was blissful too.