friendship – Peaceful Reader

My jacket

I’ve loved this leather jacket for many years. I bought it in my mid 20’s when I worked for Benetton in Minneapolis/St Paul. I wore it to concerts and shows, often to 1st Avenue. A coat like this becomes part of your person. Friends asked to borrow it and I happily let them because I wanted to share the good vibes I had while wearing the jacket. It brought me such joy. It still does.

Several years later I moved to Boulder, Colorado and I still wore the jacket although not as frequently. My Minneapolis downtown style intersected with my newly embraced mountain bohemian rhapsody. Flannel shirts and and t-shirts fit nicely under this black rugged jacket. The story of the jacket takes a turn here a few more years later while I was living in Denver.

I wore the jacket out one night with jeans and a simple white t-shirt. I met my friend Stan at a bar where he was entertaining his friends from Chicago. They’d gone golfing during the day and then he called and asked if I would join them. I was introduced to the guys who were rowdy and raring to go for their night out. I had one gin and tonic while we made plans to find some food. Both Stan and I needed to eat and were body aware enough that we usually made it a priority if we were out together. While we made plans to go to a favorite Mexican restaurant we ran into some local friends including Stan’s roommate Chris. We ended up back at Chris’ girlfriends house which was supposed to be a small stop but turned into a major ordeal.

The girlfriend’s roommate was acting as host and offered to make us drinks. We accepted but Stan and I were still very much on the “must get food soon” He (the roommate) brought hand mixed drinks out to each of us although several of the Chicago boys just had beers. They were restless so it was decided that they would go for food with Stan driving while I stayed back and waited for Chris and the girlfriend (I’ve completely blanked her name but I can picture her). It seemed like mere moments after they left that I finished the drink and I was beyond exhausted and started to fall asleep on the sofa.

This is the point in the story where many of you might be thinking “what was in the drink?” and you would be right. I ended up crashing in the roommate’s bed with promises from both Chris and the girlfriend that I would be completely safe. I crashed hard, missed Stan and friends coming back with food, and ended up puking my guts out in the middle of the night after feeling said roommate naked and rubbing up against me. I wandered out to the living room, grabbed my jacket, and dialed my own apartment asking my brother to pick me up through quiet sobs. I waited outside for him and realized I was missing the belt of my beloved leather jacket but I couldn’t walk back into that house and hoped it could be retrieved at a later time.

I should have had my brother take me to the nearest emergency room. I just wanted to crawl in bed and forget about it. This was the 1990’s; until that night I’d never even thought about date rape drugs. It just never occurred to me but there was definitely something in that drink that made me pass out. Even though I still love this jacket and wear it happily I always remember a glimmer of that night when I put my arms into the sleeves, when I think about the empty belt loops. I choose to wear it anyway.

Even though I remember I’m not going to let it overwhelm my love and attachment to this singular item or my general well-being. Humans are hearty souls and we are able to adapt to overwhelming situations. I tell this story now just to write it out one more time as a reminder of what I’ve experienced and how lucky I was to have woken up because the story could have had a much different ending.

Happy Birthday Baby!

(Upside down in Maryland)

(In Virginia)

My youngest child turns 17 years old tomorrow! I truly can’t believe it. This is her senior year and after that she will fly the coop and I’ll have to find new things to do with my time. I’ve been chasing after her for so many years I won’t know what to do with myself. I mean I will but it just feels so lonesome to contemplate.

(in Central Park)

She has always been full of positive energy with a quick laugh. She also can be brutally hard on herself especially when it comes to her dancing skills. She loves to be in motion, dancing, yet she pushes herself and still never feels like she gets to where she wants to be. I say let it go and enjoy the beauty that is you. She gets a little tired of my ability to spin everything to the positive saccharine. level. Each and every one of us has our quirks and at some point in our lives it’s best just to play to your strengths and let go of what isn’t working. I wish I could give her a boost of real confidence for her birthday gift so that she would truly believe in her abilities and help her move forward when things are rough. I think it has to do with developing resilience. We could all use a little dose of that right now in our world- that and patience. And those skills take time to develop…

Groovy Girl was a beautiful baby and she is a stunning young woman; I love snuggling with her at any time of the day. She has always loved baking and creating in the kitchen and now her “concoctions” are delicious Indian dinners that we can devour together. She is thoughtful and insightful, a champion for all kinds of inclusive causes.

(Look at her beautiful tiny face)

Happy birthday my dear little one! You are greatly loved and appreciated.

Playing Dress-up

My friends V and A and I have been on a quest to hone down our wardrobes and clear away the clutter. They already live in pretty clutter free houses so that one may be mostly for me. Part of the quest has us looking at posts about the 10 item wardrobe and one that A sent us about the art of dressing up.

I work at a school where our teachers dress nicely and our principal wears a dress or a skirt every day! But after watching this video it made me take it to a new level. Of course it is summer so it’s easy when I can stay in my pj’s for the first part of the morning and then linger over what exactly to wear.

Shoes have been a big discussion in this quest as it can be easy to throw on a skirt and a blouse or a flowered sundress but having the RIGHT shoes to match and make it still look dressy is harder. Flip Flops do not count as dressy attire.

The first day I did this I was going to a musical gathering and I tossed on a pair of skinny jeans, a black & white striped 3-quarter length T, and a black cropped blazer. It was chilly out and I quickly added my gray suede boots but it was the perfect fit. In this debate with A and V, I’ve thrown out shoe ideas of sandals cute clogs, Chuck Taylor’s, and even little white sneakers like my mom wore in the 50’s.

Of course there are a plethora of fancy sandal choices as well. And Birks have hit it big as the new “it” shoe wear. It’s time the world paid more attention to just what the hippies were (are) saying, wearing, and doing…

Dress it up a bit more just for yourself. The compliments are just the icing on the cake.

Here’s the video that started us on this journey:

Counting by 7s by Holly Goldberg Sloan

Counting by 7s

Holly Goldberg Sloan

2013

Willow Chance is a young woman who literally is out of chances yet somehow she manages to positively affect change in all the people around her. In the very first chapter her adoptive parents are killed in a car accident and she is left completely alone. No family friends, no long lost rich aunt, no scheming mad uncle to claim her. Instead she finds herself with a sad excuse for a school counselor and a brother and sister she never met before but who happen to be visiting the same counselor when she finds out that her parents have died.

The misfit male counselor, Dell Duke, is lost as to how to even take action in this situation even though others are turning to him for help. Mai and Quang-ha, sister and brother who live with their mother in a garage behind their mother’s nail salon and it is Mai who comes to the aid of Willow when it is obvious that she has nowhere to go. With this blanket of sadness over everyone it would seem this book would spill tears right out of it’s pages but there is something magical about Willow Chance. Her parents were high-spirited happy people who loved her deeply for all her unusual quirkiness and she has thrived in that love. Now without that love from the two most important people she has to find a way to survive.

I loved I’ll Be There Holly Goldberg Sloan’s first novel and find that the two books have a similarity in that she takes oddball characters throws them into tough situations and makes us love them.

Quote:

Jamison Children’s Center is the county facility that provides emergency foster care.

Lenore Cole gives me a pamphlet.

I read it, but get the distinct feeling that the place is probably for kids who have parents who hit them or don’t feed them real food because they are too busy taking drugs or stealing something.

As we drive up to the building, I put my index and middle fingers on my carotid artery just behind my ear to take my pulse.

I know for a fact that my heart rate is in some kind of danger zone.” (139)

Willow is a genius and knows things that most people don’t and she’s not afraid to share. Through her interactions with others she pushes them forward even though she herself cannot get past her grief. This is an amazing realistic fiction book but with such unusual characters that one can only make sure to push it into the hands of many young 6th, 7th, and 8th grade students to see what they take from it. I can’t imagine anyone not cheering for Willow.

Holly Goldberg Sloan’s website

I’ll Be There

Picture Book Frenzy

In between road trips Groovy Girl and I have spent a lot of time at the library this summer. It is one of our favorite places in our quaint downtown area. We love to browse and talk to the librarians about what we are reading or plan to read or are thinking of reading. It is a great thing to surround our children with this book talking, especially over the summer.

The last time we were browsing I went crazy down the new book shelf of titles. While Groovy Girl searched the new chapter books I picked up picture books galore. I even added one into the pile that i thought my handsome husband would enjoy.

1. The True Stories of an amazing all-brother baseball team; Brothers at Bat by Audrey Vernick and Steven Salerno (2012) :

This is a great family story with very retro artwork. The book shares the story of the Acerra brother; 12 brothers, 1 baseball team during the 1920’s, 30’s, and 40’s. We love a good baseball story and through this text we learn more about life during this era. The 12 brothers played ball for years; their high school team had an Acerra on it twenty-two years in a row! The story shares the troubles the family experienced as well as the many good times they had together. Eventually the 6 older boys get pulled away to WWII. The very lucky thing is that they all come back alive! This is the book I brought home thinking my husband would like it; and he did! I found him one morning, eating his breakfast, reading through the pages.

2. No Ghost Under My Bed by Guido Van Genechten (2010):

While not so new this is a charming little book that reminded me exactly what it was like to have a little one struggle with bedtime. Jack is ready for bed, all tucked in but he hears a sound coming from under the bed. Dad comes each time to calmly check it out, assuring Jack that ghosts do not exist. The father penguin is calm each time and checks to make sure that all is secure. Very sweet story with beautifully subdued pictures in tones of gray and peach.

3. The Further Tale of Peter Rabbit by Emma Thompson and Eleanor Taylor (2012):

I adore Peter Rabbit and think Emma Thompson would be the perfect person to imitate her in person or in writing. This story takes Peter on a new adventure to Scotland where he meets Finlay McBurney, a large black rabbit, and his clan. This book also included a CD with Ms Thompson reading the tale to us. Very, very sweet!

4. If waffles were like boys by Charise Mericle Harper and Scott Magoon (2011):

A very simple book that takes me back to my own dear son, now a teenager, and definitely not the rambunctious young lad he once was. Now more shy than bouncy I remember easily how he went from activity to activity and that inanimate objects were incorporated into play. This book celebrates that which makes boys, well boys.

5. Hello My Name is Bob by Linas Alsenas (2009):

Bob is a bear. He thinks he is boring. He likes to sit. He likes to hum or count toothpicks. He is quiet. Lucky he has a friend, Jack, who is a bit more thrilling, according to Bob. Jack likes to do wacky stuff like surf, and paint. This story is endearing and brings out the best part of friendship; it is often the differences in each of us that bind us together. This one was a Groovy Girl favorite and really the only one in the stack she was interested in.

What are you picking up at the library?

Read Trinkets by Kirsten Smith

Trinkets

Kirsten Smith

March, 2013

Trinkets was a fast easy read perfect for middle school through high school students. I loved the alternating characters between the three girls all from different backgrounds but quite similar in their attitudes. All three want something different, something bigger than what is happening in their life right now as high school students. They try to create their own thrill by shoplifting at the mall. Serious shoplifting-not just a tube of lipstick from the drugstore-but designer dresses, jewelry, gadgets, and books.

There’s Elodie who writes like a poet and feels like she doesn’t belong. Maureen who’s just Moe who lost both her parents in a car crash leaving her and her brother to live with their aunt. She teeters on the fringe with the burnouts but she is far from burned out. Tabitha has everything that comes with money; friends, buying power, and a handsome boyfriend but she feels alone almost always. All three, busted
separately for shoplifting, end up in a Shoplifters Anonymous program to heal themselves and end up finding each other. While this is a wonderful book about friendship and high school and could be just another book about how hard it is to be in school with all the set cliques this book sets itself apart through its unique characters and ability to sound real and right on. We don’t want anyone to go out a steal just to make a friend but this book speaks volumes on how important it is to be yourself, to step away from the bullies, the bitches, the drama queens to stand alone until you rise to the top.

It’s a hard task to do but Elodie, Tabitha, and Moe learn that it is better to have one (or two) good friends than to have a roomful of people who know your name. Told in alternating chapters between all three young women you get an excellent feel for each one’s motivation. This would make a great movie if they did it well which doesn’t come as a surprise since the author has written a few screenplays, including one of my favorite Heath Ledger movies, 10 Things I hate about you.

A quote from Moe:

April 8

Aunt B says to not judge a book by the cover, but I guess everybody does. Elodie was surprised when I told her I’d already read Broken Soup. Tabitha said she hadn’t read it, so Elodie gave her the copy. Hanging out at the Roxy with them was more fun than listening to Alex lay out a plan to TP some nerd’s house, but it wasn’t like super buddy-buddy or anything. Obviously, I didn’t tell them about Noah or even that I like to read while taking a bath. It’s none of their business. I guess if I were a book, my cover would be different from what’s on the inside too. (104)

I thoroughly enjoyed this book and plan to keep it on my shelf for Groovy Girl to read in a few years. She knows all about standing outside the circle trying to feel confident.

My review copy from Little, Brown & Co in no way altered my high opinion of this title. Thank you to Zoe for my review copy. s

Soaring with Ask the Passengers by A.S. King

Ask the Passengers

A.S. King

October, 2013

I started my September ARC (advanced reader’s copy) challenge with a bang! This book seriously blew me away with how wonderfully-written it was. Carrying just enough sarcasm, wit,and angst mixed with profound love; it made me smile, laugh, shake my head, and cry in rapid secession, it gave me such HOPE!

Ask the passengers is Astrid Jones’ story. She’s a high school student in a small town where her parents have settled her after a major move from New York City. Her parents craved the hometown experience without realizing the affect it would have on their two young girls; Astrid and Ellis. Astrid feels she’s never quite fit in to this small-town, small-minded community. Ellis, on the other hand, seems to have made a life with the popular kids. In a way each member of the Jones’ family struggles with new identity after the move and they’ve gotten stuck in crisis mode. Eventually they come to realize it is just another way to not accept themselves. A.S. King weaves this drama around this family’s journey back to each other.

But first the gossip. Lots of gossip. Small towns are never as idyllic as they seem. Astrid’s family feels rocky and she takes her life cues from this. She’s busy keeping a major secret for her neighbor and best friend, Kristina, and her boyfriend, Justin. They fool everyone into thinking they are the perfect couple-prom couple perfect. But when Kristina and Justin go out on their cute weekly Friday double dates they actually are dating the other person. Yep. Kristina and Donna, and Justin and Chad have it all worked out. Nicely. Modern set up. Astrid keeps their secret. See how small towns are not what they seem to be…

What Kristina doesn’t know is that Astrid has her own secrets and she’s not ready to share at all. Instead she sends her love out to passing airplanes. Better to give it away than store it up or throw it away.

“So I send my love, and I ask the passengers: Where are you going? Can I come with you? I could finally feel at home.” (98)

When she talks to the plane passengers we get a message back, showing us the profound effect an outpouring of positive emotion can have. So while Astrid misses the big city idea and what that represents the plane people are having their own problems thousands of feet above her. And the small town people might catch her off-guard; people are filled with surprises as she discovers along her journey. Through her narration we hear odd angles like her humorous thought-process of small town gossip:

“They say: I bet her and that Justin Lampley will have some damn pretty kids. They say: I can’t figure out why she hangs out with that weird neighbor girl.That’s me. (Astrid)” (4)

The proverbial “they” is always a fear; whether in her mind or truthfully being told it’s hard to bear the fact that in small towns people are watching your every move. And one night the double daters and Astrid are caught in their secret world, busted, and tossed back to their families. Do they recover from stepping outside the small-town boundaries? Maybe. Yes. No. Out of negative we know that good often occurs and this book has so much good mixed in with everything. I could read it all over again!

I let a friend borrow it today-she sent praises within the hour! This book deserves much attention as a story filled with love, redemption, and what it means to be yourself where ever you live. I’m curious about A.S. King’s other titles-what wonderful messages might be revealed within their covers.

ARC received from Little, Brown, and Company. Thank you Zoe!

Friends and Salads

This is my friend Jennifer. We’ve known each other for 20 years. We’ve laughed and cried together. She’s seen me at my best and my worst. She was my maid of honor when I married Greg and she was there for the birth of my first child. We bumped bellies when our daughters were in utero-our girls are two months apart in age. I love her dearly and she truly is like a sister to me. I miss her terribly because some how we ended up in two different states; she stayed in Colorado and I moved to Iowa. We travel back there every couple of years but I’ve always wished our children could grow up together. These last few weeks I’ve been in Colorado for an extended stay and it was perfect. I hung out with her four beautiful children while she worked and when she was off we played. The photo above was taken at the Denver Zoo.

Some of my earliest adult food memories are shared with her. We used to make lunch together and one of our favorite meals was grilled cheese dipped in ketchup. Yep. Healthy. We were vegetarians together for years. We loved sushi with saki and Mexican food~usually accompanied by several margaritas. While we did make some margaritas one night our eating was a little more healthy this time around. She’s turned into a fabulous cook and whipped up several great meals while we were there.

She shared two recipes with me that we made together and I will make again soon

on my own, thinking of her.

(Our beet salad next to magazine photo)

Tomato and Beet Salad

(adapted from Everyday Food by Martha)

Roast 1# beets

Slice 2# garden fresh tomatoes

1 pint cherry tomatoes, halved

Arrange tomatoes on platter

Remove beets from oven and run under cold water, using a paper towel to remove skin. Be careful-they are hot! Once skin is removed slice beets and add to platter.

Sprinkle 1/4 cup (or more) feta cheese crumbles over top. Add 1/4 cup chopped cilantro. Drizzle with olive oil and sea salt and fresh ground pepper.

Garbanzo Bean Salad

(We dug in so quickly we forgot to take a photo)

1 can garbanzo beans or soak your own

1 shallot, thinly sliced

1 English cucumber, thinly sliced

olive oil (more)

red wine vinegar (less)

sprinkle sea salt

Mix together and eat. Yum.

Thank you Jen for such a fabulous holiday! You are courageous and even more amazing now! I love you and hope our friendship continues to grow for more years to come.

This post is linked to the ever friendly Beth Fish Reads weekend cooking meme hosted by Candace. Feel free to head over there by clicking on the link and read other food-related posts.

Another Outstanding elementary fiction

My friend Tina is an extremely avid reader and usually has great recommendations. Last time we were at the library together she loaded me up with several good choices. This was one of my favorites!

Something to Hold

Katherine Schlick Noe

2011

250 pages

Something to Hold takes place in 1962 on the Oregon Indian reservation, Warm Springs. Kitty’s dad works for the government forestry service putting out forest fires in the great Northwest. Her family lives on the reservation, which is fine, but she and her siblings will attend the reservation school as well. She’s unsure of how this will go as she already feels uncomfortable feelings from some of the local children. This is such a great description of what Native life would be like then and probably now as well. The story is based on the author’s own growing up experiences and as a reader I enjoyed her recollections immensely. Noe’s website has an interesting biographical information about her years on the reservation.

Quote that made me mad as Mr. Nute their teacher “teaches” them about Columbus Day as they prepare for a celebration honoring Mr. Columbus and the Native children don’t know or understand the state song:

“We are all immigrants,” he says, “And America is the greatest country in the history of mankind. It was established on the backs of those who came before us.”
Mr. Nute pauses for a second to let that sink in, then he unleashes an oration on Columbus Day and the ideals on which this country was founded. All made possible, Mr. Nute tells us, because this one man and a bunch of others who came after him had the courage and vision to seek out this empty and savage New World, to plant their flags so that civilized men could tame it, men like our country’s forefathers and the great exploreres who made the Oregon Territory safe for the pioneers, all of whom sacrificed so much so that we can have the freedom-the unearned and unappreciated luxury-to sit here and wallow in our ignorance.
“Now, let’s take it from the top,” Mr. Nute says quietly. “One more time.” (56)

This is a lesson for Native children? Yes, I know. The audacity. This attitude is still what gets our country into trouble. This story grabbed me as Kitty deals with friendship, bullying, racism, and attitudes. She learns so much about herself in this one important year. Tina said it first so I’m just agreeing and repeating but this one should be honored with an award this year.

The Lions of Little Rock

Our family had the pleasure of living in North Little Rock for 3 years. I met my wonderful friend, V, there and experienced Southern life for a short period. One of my favorite first memories was trick-or-treating in flip flops with my children. Growing up in Minnesota I’d spent many a Halloween bundled in winter coats and boots.

In 2007 the Little Rock Nine celebrated their 50th anniversary but before that Commemorative Civil Rights stamps were released and several events occurred that we attended, including a movie premier with Minnijean Brown Trickey. My husband made it to the dedication of these striking statues (above photo) on the capital grounds commemorating their journey. Anytime we walked to see these statues I always felt an overwhelming sense of fear for what these mere teenagers faced everyday.

The Lions of Little Rock (2012) takes place the year after that difficult year of integration at Central High School, when emotions were just as high. Integration did not go as planned; neither side had won leaving both sides bitter. Many of the high schools closed instead of withstanding another attempt at forced integration.

Synopsis from Penguin:

Two girls separated by race form an unbreakable bond during the tumultuous integration of Little Rock schools in 1958 Twelve-year-old Marlee doesn’t have many friends until she meets Liz, the new girl at school. Liz is bold and brave, and always knows the right thing to say, especially to Sally, the resident mean girl. Liz even helps Marlee overcome her greatest fear – speaking, which Marlee never does outside her family.

But then Liz is gone, replaced by the rumor that she was a Negro girl passing as white. But Marlee decides that doesn’t matter. Liz is her best friend. And to stay friends, Marlee and Liz are willing to take on integration and the dangers their friendship could bring to both their families.

A Halloween quote:

“Howdy , cowpoke!”
I turned and saw a cowgirl with a leather skirt, chaps, a fringed jacket, hat and bandanna over her face. Beside her stood a little kid dressed as a horse, with a full mask over his head.
“Wow,” I said. I recognized Liz’s voice, even if I couldn’t see her face. “You look great!”
“Granny can sew,” she said. “Too bad every day isn’t Halloween. We could go anywhere we wanted.”
“You’re not supposed to talk to your white friend,” said Tommy.
“Shhh,” said Liz. “Horses don’t talk. Besides, I told you I’d give you half my candy.” (116-117)

The friendship between Liz and Marlee springs up naturally at school and the two enjoy each other’s company, fitting together like two parts of a puzzle. Through their eyes integration is an easy choice but the world is filled with haters and Liz and Marlee run into many of them. After being banned by both families to meet they conspire to see each other anyway at the zoo. It’s tough in the face of adversity to stick to each other but they do the best they can under their complicated circumstances.

I appreciated feeling at home in the Little Rock setting, could picture the zoo, Philander Smith College, and the Central High School area. The Lions of Little Rock is Kristin Levine’s second historical fiction novel about race. Her first book, The Best Bad Luck I’ve Ever Had is about the friendship between Harry and Emma in Alabama.

Kristin Levine grew up in the South and now makes her home on the East Coast. The Fourth Musketeer has a wonderful interview with Levine and Janssen’s review is worth reading at Everyday Reading.