friendships – Peaceful Reader

June; thank you so much.

Wow – this month has flown by. Groovy Girl and I started the summer off with a road trip to Denver, Co. We stayed with family and just had a lovely time. We hiked in the area and saw deer, bison + baby bison, and pronghorns. From Iowa, it is about an 11-hour drive and we did it in 2 days.

Our favorite things were Sushi Ronin, Little Man ice cream both in the Highland area of Denver and I loved the Boulder Dushanbe Teahouse and we both loved hiking at Chautauqua in Boulder, walking the 16th Street Mall, and dipping our feet into Boulder Creek. We also had a great afternoon hanging out in Washington Park just enjoying.

We had dinner with friends and family we have not seen for years and it felt great to reconnect. It is very important to keep lines of communication open in friendships and family circles. If not nurtured in some way they can easily wither away. Sometimes that can even mean a place and I definitely enjoyed connecting with Denver/Boulder again and I’m happy my daughter loved our experiences as well. I wished on the trip that I’d had the foresight to take each child on a high school road trip. There are a lot of skills learned on a road trip that you don’t get if you take a 4-hour flight to the same destination. Different lessons. The talking and the navigation were the best parts; I’m trying to teach her to put down the phone as we drive so she can look out the window and daydream, think or just unwind. Unplugging is a huge challenge for all of us with smartphones.

This trip was also a challenge to myself. I used to make this trek back and forth frequently when my son was younger and the trip was longer because I was often driving back to Minneapolis/St. Paul or Rochester area. I wanted to prove to myself that I could still make it happen and get myself around. And I did it. Bravo to me. My life can now continue!

I’ve been lucky enough to call a variety of states home but Colorado will always hold a very special place in my heart. As we drove into the state and you can see your first glimpses of the mountains in the distance; my daughter said “hello mountains; its been too long”. I agree. Our souls are better now.

And then I’m just as happy when my little black Prius pulls us back into our little corner of Iowa and we are home; happy to sleep in our own beds and kiss the ground with happiness for a safe trip.

Debut author Amanda Maciel writes scary high school portrayal…

School can be a frightening place as students of any age try to fit in with an ever changing norm. Amanda Maciel does an amazing job of making this high school story very real. I don’t teach in a high school and my hope is that it isn’t this bad but I have a feeling I could be wrong…

Emma Putnam, a new student, who somehow gets on the wrong side of Brielle and subsequently her followers, Sara, Noelle and a few male characters. Emma is pegged as a slut as she tries to make her way through every day with mean people surrounding her.

They push her around physically and emotionally using FB and Twitter. They taunt her every single time they see her. They put fake Valentine’s Day cutouts on her lawn. They create a vicious FB page for her. And while Emma feels like she has a few friends they often turn on her if Brielle is near. Noone wants to go against Brielle. The line is so thin…it’s much easier to be a bystander or even worse join right in so Brielle might like you more. Why do girls allow a mean queen bee take control like this?

I would love to see this book told again through Emma’s side. She’s human and makes a few mistakes along the way which is just what gives Sara justification to keep taunting her. It is Sara that we follow through alternating monthly chapters of before and after Emma’s suicide. Eventaully she understands how her (and Brielle’s) behavior adversely effected Emma; enough for Emma to lose any hope.

This was hard to read, it hurt my heart, and I so wanted to step in and alternately “shake” each character. Words are what hurt and until we really help kids get this bullying will remain an issue.

How can we teach children at the elementary level to respect each other and spread peace and joy instead of nasty barbs.

Quote:

Sara’s thoughts:

I try to look away, but it’s like my head is stuck. She and Beth are talking in low voices, and Emma looks like she’s been crying or something. She always looks that way-when she’s not flirting with some guy or whatever. Or even when she is, sometimes. She’s this permanent bruise, always getting her feelings hurt, always injured. Everyone at school knows she sees a therapist, and I wonder why they haven’t just put her on antidepressants already. Or ones that actually work. (113)

That’s just how Brielle was. That’s what no one gets, I think-she would tease you even if she did like you. Especially if she liked you. And then if someone was mean to her, or to one of her friends, she’d turn that teasing on to them. It would be a lot less nice, of course. It was pretty tough sometimes. But-and suddenly I know this, standing here with Carmichael, in the middle of passing period, in the middle of nowhere-that’s her survival instinct. That’s just how she deals. (237)

Excellent, well-crafted characters mixed with a very current and real crisis made for a strong story and from a debut author! I’m interested in whatever she writes next. While we are waiting this interview with Amanda is worth it!

Angry Housewives eating Bon Bons by Lorna Landvik

Lorna Landvik

(2003)

A friend from church gave me this book. She loves to read like me and we have similar tastes in book but I have to admit when she gave me this one I thought it was going to be a shallow girly book but it has far more depth than that. Actually I can’t say enough wonderful things about this book as I loved the setting (Minnehaha Creek area of Minneapolis), the characters as they were all very distinct, and of course the book club focal point has me excited about a whole list of older (classic) titles.

Synopsis:

The women of Freesia Court are convinced that there is nothing good coffee, delicious desserts, and a strong shoulder can’t fix. Laughter is the glue that holds them together-the foundation of a book group they call AHEB (Angry Housewives eating Bon Bons), and unofficial “club” that becomes much more. It becomes a lifeline. Holding on through forty eventful years, there’s Faith, a lonely mother of twins who harbors a terrible secret that has condemned her to living a lie; big beautiful Audrey, the resident sex queen who knows that with good posture and an attitude you can get away with anything; Merit, the shy doctor’s wife with the face of an angel and the private hell of an abusive husband; Kari, a wise woman with a wonderful laugh who knows the greatest gifts appear after life’s fiercest storms; and finally, Slip, a tiny spitfire of a woman who isn’t afraid to look trouble straight in the eye. (back of the book)

To me that just sounded like a lot to take on but it is a credit to Ms. Landvik’s writing that it never goes over a melodramatic top. Through the group’s book selections as well as how they react to the changing world around them history was shared through the changing point-of-view of each character.

I’ve started a list of books the Angry Housewives read and I’m interested in reading a bit down the list. Not that I need more books on my to-read list but often the book club conversations intrigued me.

Selected quotes:

As a peace activist myself I could easily identify with Slip; Freesia Court’s resident bleeding heart in 1968.

“I’m sorry,” I said when I was drained of all bodily fluids, “but I just keep asking myself, whatever happened to the Summer of Love?”
“I beg your pardon?” Faith looked like she’d just been asked to explain the theory of relativity.
“You must think I’m some kind of nut, but it’s just…I don’t know, it’s just that I can’t take what’s happening in the world. I can’t take all these people getting shot. I can’t take this war. I just thought we were supposed to be better than that. I really did believe we were on the dawn of a new age.” (63)

Slip’s brother enlists in the Vietnam War but her feelings never waiver as to the unjust war and its aftermath.

And another great quote during a book discussion:

“But I mean this book in particular,” said Slip impatiently. “This is a hit-you-over-the-head-look-how-different-our-world-is-from-yours kinda book.”
“I agree,” whispered Kari, so as not to wake the slumbering baby in her arms. “With both of you. I always love reading about people with lives unlike mine because I get to live in their world for a while. But the funny thing about reading On the Road is that I didn’t feel their world was so alien…probably because I’m an outlaw too.”
“If you’re an outlaw,” said Faith, “then I’m Granny Clampett.”
We all laughed, but then Slip said, “I’m with Kari. I feel like an outlaw too.”
“Well, you are,” said Merit earnestly. “You get arrested on picket lines.”
“Actually, I’ve never been arrested,” said Slip, and I thought I heard regret in her voice. “But what I mean is that there are outlaws inside all of us-ready to break rules that need to be broken.”
“Right,” I said. “But society doesn’t want its wives and mothers and PTA presidents to be outlaws, so most of the time we repress that voice that tells us to break the rules, to-” (87)

I find that to be a perfect quote especially for March-in celebration of women’s history! Thank heavens to many of the outlaw women like Sojourner Truth, and Julia Ward Howe, Barbara Jordan, and Elizabeth Cady Stanton just to name a few. Cheers to the outlaws and the rule breakers, the makers of change!

As I’ve talked about this book to other reading friends they’ve asked if I’ve read other books by Lorna Landvik and I haven’t but I’m interested. Anyone else have favorites of this author? I would love recommendations. After reading Lorna’s bio I’m wowed by her own life story.

I read the best book over the weekend…

Don’t you love a sentence that begins that way? I’ve been hastily doing all I can for the upcoming election and did some canvassing this weekend for Organizing for America. I’m very ready for Tuesday to come and go as I’m exhausted from this campaign. In between family events and chatting up my favorite president to local residents I actually did read the best book!

What Happens Next (October, 2012) by debut author Colleen Clayton took my breath away with how real and wonderful the story was. Cassidy Murphy, a voluptuous cheerleader, heads off on a school ski club excursion with her two best friends. She’s never skied before and ends up on the bunny slope for the first day while her more experienced friends, Paige and Kirsten, head to the black diamonds remorsefully leaving Cassidy behind. She’s determined to better her skiing skills and while making attempt after attempt meets a hunky older guy, Dax, on the chair lift. Because of her over-sized chest and shapely figure she’s had little experience with men and is an easy target for the suave Dax who wins her over with a few well placed compliments and some coy memory tricks. He asks her to a party after they’ve spent the day flirting and laughing as they ski down the easier slopes. She knows she can’t really accept the invite as it would be breaking curfew for the trip and she’s pretty sure Paige and Kirsten won’t help her but she tries to get them to go along with her party plan anyway. They turn her down and yes, she sneaks out because this cute boy was nice to her. Cue the ominous music.

We get inside Dax’s condo where there is no party but he does invite her into “his parlor” to watch a movie. We leave them laughing together and then speed zip to Cassidy waking up in a bedroom by herself, feeling sick like a hangover. She walks back to the condo where she is bombarded with her friends and the chaperone’s disappointment. Her brain jiggles with worry about the events of the previous night but she can’t quite say exactly what happened but her life has altered, tipped a little, keeping her mentally and physically off balance. Her grades suffer, her friends disappear. She gets kicked off the cheer leading team, drops out of one class only to be assigned to the AV room as an aide which is where she meets Corey Livingston. He turns out to be the perfect slacker dude; someone who is easy to talk to, doesn’t ask a lot of questions and has secrets himself. I could have used a Corey Livingston dream date while I was in high school.

Random quote:

I don’t know how it happens. It just does. I search and search for clues to tell me what happened, where he is, who else he has done this to. I find nothing but inner sickness. I get so torn up and panic-stricken that I have to slam my laptop shut and raise my window, stick my head out into the cold night, and try not to scream. I don’t know what to do with it, this lack of peace, this need to know. I want it to go away but it won’t.
Every night it comes back.
Every night I am searching. (90)

There is a hint of fairy tale to me with Dax’s yellow eyes and Sid’s long red locks but this book definitely tells a real life story of what many young women go through as they evaluate themselves harshly, trying to live up to false images of the perfect women while they steer their way through uncertain relationships with men. It’s not that every strange man on the ski slope is going to be a Dax Windsor but they are out there. Luckily Cassidy meets Corey who likes her for who she is which is what all young women deserve.

Just like Ask the Passengers by A.S. King I will recommend this to our high school teacher-librarians as a must purchase! Review copy received from Zoe at Little, Brown, and Company. In no way did this influence my review as the book stands on its on merit.

*Just as a warning this book does have a ton of swearing.