Celebrating Day of the Dead

Last night I attended a vigil at our local Jewish Synagogue and it was packed, standing room only. Several honored people spoke from the Jewish community and other local religious leaders. It was a beautiful service yet it would have been better to not have to gather at all. Why do we live in the greatest nation only to have so many persecuted people and crimes against our very humanity? How do people become so filled with hate? Our Jewish, Muslim, LGBTQ+, women, people of color all need our support as they (we) are under attack.

Today we honor the dead and for me specifically, I’m thinking of not only my family members that have passed but all the senseless murders from gun violence and victims who’ve died because of hate like Matthew Shepherd. That’s a LOT of candles to light.  From Columbine High School in 1999 to the most recent in South Carolina two days ago we’ve had too many school shootings and nothing is being done. School shootings-people are killing and traumatizing our youth-it’s really unfathomable, beyond belief. I sat there years ago and watched the news roll out the day Columbine happened and I surely thought this was an isolated horrific incident. Little did I realize it would be an epidemic.

The Washington Post is working to compile data on school shootings and it notes that 219,000 students have experienced violence because of a shooting while in school. The database is work taking a look at-it will make you understand why this is such an important issue. And now it seems places of worship may be the new racist trend. 

Most shootings involve a weapon brought from home or purchased by another family member.  I don’t like guns.  I am fine with hunters having guns because it’s different; I get that and I’m a vegetarian. I grew up in a family where hunting was an acceptable Saturday afternoon activity. Hunting rifles are generally not used for violent acts against humans.  I like the idea of a gun buyback like Australia enacted or much stricter regulations like Japan has in place. We have a backward group of people represented by the NRA that we will never convince that guns do kill people and if we had less of them on the street we would have less violence.  And assault-style weapons shouldn’t be available at all. And before a police officer (in training) is issued a weapon they should have a serious diversity and peaceful negotiation training to pass before being gifted the license to carry a weapon that kills. We cannot support our very own “militia” to kill our citizens. 

I’m on a high soapbox right now and it’s Halloween but The Day of the Dead has me thinking about all those who’ve died because hatred runs rampant and the haters have access to weapons. We need radical change to make these issues a thing of the past. Vote for sensible candidates who think the 2nd Amendment is for hunting and military personnel. Not militias in Oregon or Idaho but people who truly are defending our country in foreign lands. And we need police officers to be tried and convicted. I get that its a stressful job and it shouldn’t be used as an excuse.

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So today hug your children a little tighter as they share their chocolate with you, and think about the 11 Jewish elders who lost their lives this week, think of the students from Columbine to Parkland and all those in-between. We want change. We need to stand up for each other, we need to have each other’s backs. We need to choose peace.

Shalom.

Cleo Wade

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This week I was privileged to sit in the same room with Cleo Wade, poet extraordinaire and self-care guru. The room in the Graduate Hotel, downtown Iowa City, had a coffee shop vibe with lamps lit for soft lighting and lovely decor. The walls were “wallpapered” with real pencils so you felt like you were in a room meant for writing or writers. Our chairs faced a small stage with two easy chairs and a lamp and this is where Cleo eventually came out to chat with us. While we were waiting we could (and did) have a glass of wine and some homemade Iowa popcorn prepared and shared by Iowa native Kate Greer, one of Cleo’s friends-the upcoming Cheerie Lane Popcorn. It was mixed with real rosemary buds and tasted delicious.

At about 6:30 Cleo arrived on the platform and talked about life to us. She was soft-spoken, natural, and calm which caused the audience to lean in just a little. She is all about peace, love, and joy and how we can all bring that into our daily lives. In order to share these feelings out to your community, you need to feel them about yourself. She preaches an unusual idea of self-care; it’s about what feels right for you. It’s not about what you should be doing but what is right for you. Netflix, a warm bath, and red wine might be what you need on a Saturday night instead of a night out with friends or another spinning class.  Learn to pick well at any given moment for yourself.

Here is her BIG Three:

Therapeutic Ritual-This is a little gift to yourself.  Always should feel authentic. We need to learn to console ourselves to be our best selves.
Dedicated Safe Spaces-Places you go to replenish your soul. It might be outside, it might be the movies, it might be your own home. Make sure to visit often.
Relationship Boundaries-Choose your people wisely. Steer clear of toxic relationships. The people you surround yourself should build you up and inspire you.
While these aren’t exactly brand new ideas Cleo has a way of saying them to us and her 446k insta followers that make us feel ready to love ourselves a little bit more forever.

She is also an activist and encouraged everyone to vote and get involved right now. Through her Rock the Vote/Gucci’s Chime for Change website, she’s made it very easy for people to connect and get voting information.

Her stop in Iowa City is one of many on her Courageous Love tour which is more than just a book for Heart Talk; Poetic Wisdom for a better life. She was purposeful in making it a free event with stops in all college towns. While her focus does seem to be on younger souls this audience was a very mixed age range and many of us waited in line to speak with her-she chatted, hugged, laughed, took photos, and signed our books with a constant smile. The night was inspiring and I would love to be in her presence again. And thank you to my friend Rita for your willingness to take off on this adventure with me. Thank you to my sister-in-law Stephanie for sending me the info about Cleo’s tour.

Other places to find more Cleo:

Instagram: @cleowade
Cleo Wade
On Oprah
New York Times
Mind Body Green article and another