grief – Peaceful Reader

Happy May Day

All in one week there is so much to celebrate; May Day, May 4th (may the 4th be with you), and Cinco De Mayo! That is a lot of joy. And I have high hopes the weather is going to turn warm and spring-like soon. April was a little rough with the weather and my emotions all over the place. Things are going to get better and I am ready for summer break this year.

My wise words of advise:

Make a plan! Yes, decide and organize how you want your end-of-life moment.

Do the things on your bucket list – find adventure

Do what you need to do for self -care (less party, more yoga)

Learn to get rid of things – pass them on please!

Celebrate your friendships – laugh a lot.

I loved my mom but she was disorganized and kept too much stuff. I’m still going through stuff. I had to wade through stacks of paper to find the most important insurance papers, etc. Be joyful…and organized! I’m still a work in progress but I’m working on it.

Hello Winter Break!

(family)

I’ve taken quite a break from blogging without meaning to but grief works in strange ways for everybody and I just took a step back from certain parts of my own life. I’ve still helped with the Mayor Pete campaign although I missed a few events and I’ve obviously headed to work every day which truly brings me such great joy. I love seeing the faces of all my students even the tough ones. School is good and now I’m on winter break which is fantastic. The holiday season is in full swing.

My shopping is almost done and I just have some local things to shop for + groceries to purchase. As my kids get older we really focus on the JOY of spending time together over ripping into tons of gifts. Last year we spent time reading all our favorite Christmas picture books to each other. Something about reading Corduroy’s Christmas or Dream Snow by Eric Carle that ushers in a warm and cozy feeling. We also love to watch Christmas movies together-Love, Actually is one of our favorites and this year we plan to watch Klaus together. We generally go see the new Star Wars movie as a family after Christmas. I’m looking forward to all of it.

Last weekend I went to a soup exchange hosted by a friend. I made this delicious sweet potato curry soup I found on my NYT cooking app. They each made a soup and we came together and shared. I brought home at least 4 jars of homemade soup; a tomato tortellini and an au pistou (a French soup) and both were delicious. And we had a drink I was unfamiliar with (shocking!) – it was We are hosting a Christmas party game night for friends on Sunday night and I’m going to make the tomato tortellini soup for them b/c it looks so festive. Enjoy this weekend, this holiday, hug all those that surround you with love and even the awkward folk who don’t love a hug but treasure your smile. Just spend time with your people. Namaste.

Two books for you to read…

There is something magical that happens to me when a student says “You’ve GOT to read this book Mrs. Holt” as they clutch said book tightly in front of them and add “It is soooo good!” (eyes sparkling)

This recently happened with a new-to-Hansen 5th grader, Gabby, and she said all this about Stella by Starlight by Sharon M. Draper, which was on our Iowa Children’s Choice list this year. I always intend to start that book straight away yet that actually rarely happens. That sweet book sat at my desk for a few weeks and finally I finished a stream of other books and picked that one up and brought it home. I am so excited to return to school tomorrow and march right up to Gabby and tell her thank you for recommending this book to me! I loved it as much as she did so now I’m holding it out to you and telling you, my fine reader, to go find this book at a library or a bookstore and take it home, settle yourself on the sofa or outside in a hammock and be prepared to be transported to Stella’s world.

Stella is living in Bumblebee, NC and she tries to write in her journal outside at night because she catches her best thoughts in the quiet. One night she spots men in white robes and a cross on fire right across the pond from her. The Klan is active and creates terrible tension for her small community and her family. Her father joins two other men from the community to register to vote in town and Stella goes along “to be his rock”. When the Klan burns down a house belonging to one of the brave men who registered to vote the town comes together, both black and white to help. Stella is a brave, smart, kind, and enjoyable character that eventually learns to trust her own talents as a writer.

Did not know that Miles Davis plays Stella by Starlight, check it out! I’m sure Sharon M. Draper did.

The second book I’m excited about this week is The dog, Ray by Linda Coggin. I found this gem at the public library while browsing the shelf for a teacher request. It just struck me and I brought it home and it traveled to dance with me for a long rehearsal and I finished it in one day. Yes.

This is the story of 12-year-old Daisy, killed in a car accident, in the first few pages. She is whisked up to some kind of job central and lands back on earth as a…yes, a dog. So sweet. The entertaining part is that she went through the wrong shoot and she can remember her “Daisy” life. She is adopted first into a neglectful, crabby kind of family which makes her take off after a kind homeless man she meets while tied to a bench at the park. Eventually, she meets a young orphaned and homeless boy, Pip. His mother recently died and he’s trying to find his father who does not know he exists. What a journey. Pip is a delightful Oliver Twist-like young man determined to find a forever home and he and Ray find their way together. This story is filled with an interesting cast of characters and will have you turning pages rapidly.

I wish I had a song to go with this one but go back and listen to that fantastic Miles Davis tune!

Laugh with the Moon by Shana Burg + a recipe

I found this at the library one day browsing around like I do; it was on my list to read for possible Iowa Children’s Choice book awards. It was the last one I read in my tall stack of choices and it was one of the best.

I loved that both boys and girls would enjoy the story even though it is told from a 13-year-old girl’s point of view and that we learn so much about the country of Malawi. Clare is a spunky character who is filled with grief over her recently deceased mother. Ever wonder why so many realistic fiction books for kids involve death? Her father is a doctor working for a world aid organization and probably to help his own grief he takes on this journey back to Malawi where he served before Clare was born. I think both parent and child are in need of a change of scenery even though Clare isn’t aware yet of how much this trip will mean to her.

Even though she is completely bitter on the first leg of their travels and her anger grows when she sees the small cabin where they will live she makes friends in the village and at school. She helps to change lives while their as she teaches English to the youngest children at school and gets everybody involved in a play.

A quote:

Outside, Memory shows me a dress that’s hanging from a clothesline behind the hut. In the dusk, I can’t tell if it’s blue or green or gray, but I can see the shape of it just fine. I don’t mean to be rude, but it looks like a pilgrim frock. Still, I’m a firm believer in stretching the truth in the name of friendship. At this rate, Memory might be the only person I’m speaking to on the entire African continent, so I tell her “It’s so cool!” even though I’d never be caught dead wearing something like that myself. (37)

She does indeed end up wearing a dress quite similar to her new friend Memory’s “pilgrim” dress and that is not her only compromise she must make.

I loved this book for the experience it offered me; while lots of books are written about dead mothers, not many share such an interesting path through grief. I love that her mother appears to her when she needs her most and that through their journey we get to see a part of life in Africa especially since this continent is in the news right now. Burg has first hand experience in Malawi and that helps us get a realistic feel for the country.

At the end of the book is a recipe for Sweet Potato Biscuits that I just had to try. I made them, we loved them, and then the dog stole the rest of the biscuits right off the counter and ate every last crumb..

Mbatata (Sweet Potato) Biscuits

Ingredients:
1/4 cup mashed cooked sweet potatoes
1/4 cup milk
4 T melted butter
1 1/4 cups sifted flour
2 tsp baking powder
6 T sugar, plus 2 T to sprinkle on top
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp cinnamon, plus additional 1/2 tsp to sprinkle on top

Directions:
Preheat the oven to 375*. Mix the sweet potatoes, milk, and melted butter and beat well. Sift together the flour, baking powder, 6 T of the sugar, the salt, and 1/4 tsp of cinnamon and add gradually to the sweet potato mixture. Drop by tablespoonfuls onto a greased baking sheet. Mix the additional cinnamon and sugar and sprinkle on top. Bake for 15 minutes.

They were delicious. Even the dog thought so. I didn’t even sprinkle on the extra sugar topping. I plan to make them again for Thanksgiving.

Read this book, share it with any elementary and early middle school students, share it with your class as a read-aloud. Right now it could provide an empathy for the people of Africa as they struggle with the affects of the Ebola disease.

Shana Burg is also the author of A Thousand Never Evers an excellent historical fiction that takes place in Mississippi in 1963.

Counting by 7s by Holly Goldberg Sloan

Counting by 7s

Holly Goldberg Sloan

2013

Willow Chance is a young woman who literally is out of chances yet somehow she manages to positively affect change in all the people around her. In the very first chapter her adoptive parents are killed in a car accident and she is left completely alone. No family friends, no long lost rich aunt, no scheming mad uncle to claim her. Instead she finds herself with a sad excuse for a school counselor and a brother and sister she never met before but who happen to be visiting the same counselor when she finds out that her parents have died.

The misfit male counselor, Dell Duke, is lost as to how to even take action in this situation even though others are turning to him for help. Mai and Quang-ha, sister and brother who live with their mother in a garage behind their mother’s nail salon and it is Mai who comes to the aid of Willow when it is obvious that she has nowhere to go. With this blanket of sadness over everyone it would seem this book would spill tears right out of it’s pages but there is something magical about Willow Chance. Her parents were high-spirited happy people who loved her deeply for all her unusual quirkiness and she has thrived in that love. Now without that love from the two most important people she has to find a way to survive.

I loved I’ll Be There Holly Goldberg Sloan’s first novel and find that the two books have a similarity in that she takes oddball characters throws them into tough situations and makes us love them.

Quote:

Jamison Children’s Center is the county facility that provides emergency foster care.

Lenore Cole gives me a pamphlet.

I read it, but get the distinct feeling that the place is probably for kids who have parents who hit them or don’t feed them real food because they are too busy taking drugs or stealing something.

As we drive up to the building, I put my index and middle fingers on my carotid artery just behind my ear to take my pulse.

I know for a fact that my heart rate is in some kind of danger zone.” (139)

Willow is a genius and knows things that most people don’t and she’s not afraid to share. Through her interactions with others she pushes them forward even though she herself cannot get past her grief. This is an amazing realistic fiction book but with such unusual characters that one can only make sure to push it into the hands of many young 6th, 7th, and 8th grade students to see what they take from it. I can’t imagine anyone not cheering for Willow.

Holly Goldberg Sloan’s website

I’ll Be There

Torn Away by Jennifer Brown

{Release date: May/2014}

On a typical day after school Jersey Cameron is bored by her mother’s requests and her little sister Marin’s attention. She just wants a little quiet time to zone out and watch television. When Marin and her mother head off to dance and Jersey, reluctantly, begins to make dinner a storm hits and it brings a large tornado swooping through town. Jersey has enough time to get down to the basement with her cell phone and a book but she is left with fear about her family. Her stepfather is maybe at work or possibly with friends and her mom and Marin still at dance. She makes one fleeting phone call to her mother and her mother simply tells her to take cover.

It’s days before she is reunited with any part of her family as she works to make sense of the devastation left behind in the wake of the tornado. Very accurately described with true emotion Jersey’s story is one I’d never thought of; what happens to children abandoned after a natural disaster here? Her stepfather, deeply depressed with grief, is not interested in raising her. Her biological paternal grandparents agree to take her in but their house is filled with hatred, drunkenness, and bitter feelings. Jersey’s only known the security of her mother’s love and even with the adjustment of cute little Marin her life was calm.

Eventually she ends up with her mom’s parents, estranged after a fight with her mom years ago, Jersey does not want to share her life with them. Her mom left home as a teenager with her dad, a drunk, and her parents told her if she was going to stay with him, to not come back. And she didn’t reconcile with them even after she kicked out the drunk and it was just her and her baby, Jersey, alone. Grudges. Lies. Anger. Lucky for Jersey she finds a way to see that even though her mother rejected them she can begin again with her grandparents. Through this relationship she can begin to heal.

I enjoyed this story. I’ve never actually been through a tornado experience but I have had to wait it out in the basement many times. The tornado is a terrifying monster and one that will shape the rest of Jersey’s life as well as many other residents of her small Midwest town just as a tornado does in real life. Vilonia, Arkansas and Moore, Oklahoma residents can attest to that.

Jennifer Brown’s website
Little, Brown and Company (lb-teen)

Read Trinkets by Kirsten Smith

Trinkets

Kirsten Smith

March, 2013

Trinkets was a fast easy read perfect for middle school through high school students. I loved the alternating characters between the three girls all from different backgrounds but quite similar in their attitudes. All three want something different, something bigger than what is happening in their life right now as high school students. They try to create their own thrill by shoplifting at the mall. Serious shoplifting-not just a tube of lipstick from the drugstore-but designer dresses, jewelry, gadgets, and books.

There’s Elodie who writes like a poet and feels like she doesn’t belong. Maureen who’s just Moe who lost both her parents in a car crash leaving her and her brother to live with their aunt. She teeters on the fringe with the burnouts but she is far from burned out. Tabitha has everything that comes with money; friends, buying power, and a handsome boyfriend but she feels alone almost always. All three, busted
separately for shoplifting, end up in a Shoplifters Anonymous program to heal themselves and end up finding each other. While this is a wonderful book about friendship and high school and could be just another book about how hard it is to be in school with all the set cliques this book sets itself apart through its unique characters and ability to sound real and right on. We don’t want anyone to go out a steal just to make a friend but this book speaks volumes on how important it is to be yourself, to step away from the bullies, the bitches, the drama queens to stand alone until you rise to the top.

It’s a hard task to do but Elodie, Tabitha, and Moe learn that it is better to have one (or two) good friends than to have a roomful of people who know your name. Told in alternating chapters between all three young women you get an excellent feel for each one’s motivation. This would make a great movie if they did it well which doesn’t come as a surprise since the author has written a few screenplays, including one of my favorite Heath Ledger movies, 10 Things I hate about you.

A quote from Moe:

April 8

Aunt B says to not judge a book by the cover, but I guess everybody does. Elodie was surprised when I told her I’d already read Broken Soup. Tabitha said she hadn’t read it, so Elodie gave her the copy. Hanging out at the Roxy with them was more fun than listening to Alex lay out a plan to TP some nerd’s house, but it wasn’t like super buddy-buddy or anything. Obviously, I didn’t tell them about Noah or even that I like to read while taking a bath. It’s none of their business. I guess if I were a book, my cover would be different from what’s on the inside too. (104)

I thoroughly enjoyed this book and plan to keep it on my shelf for Groovy Girl to read in a few years. She knows all about standing outside the circle trying to feel confident.

My review copy from Little, Brown & Co in no way altered my high opinion of this title. Thank you to Zoe for my review copy. s

A letter to Alan Silberberg- (creator of Milo; Sticky Notes and Brain Freeze)

Dear Mr. Silberberg;

I just wanted to write you a quick thank you note for writing such an outstanding middle grade book! Milo is a one-of-a-kind-kinda guy! There isn’t a part of this book that I didn’t love…parts of it I loved so much they made me weep. I learned quickly that Milo has some obstacles-he’s not graceful or popular but he does have big ideas and a kind heart. I also learned Milo misses his mom everyday and that her memory has been cleaned right out of their house by his grieving father. Since his mother’s death Milo’s been walking around in a fog, moving from house to house, never getting a grip on the simple fact that his mother is no longer there for him.

I loved how you gave him someone to pine for in Summer Goodman and a suave alter-ego in Dabney St. Claire. You gave him a wonderful friend, Marshall, who is there to be silly with but through Marshall’s family you gave Milo a way to experience a happy family. You developed another friendship for Milo by introducing him to Hillary, his annoying next-door-neighbor, who turns out to be not so annoying after all. Hillary shares with readers that we all have our secrets and our strong points. Yeah Hillary! You gave Milo an adult neighbor and friend, Sylvia Poole, who shares her experiences with grief and helps Milo clear away some of his fog. You gave him a kind teacher, Mr. Shivnesky, who cares enough to give Milo a 5-minute break when things get tough.

Mr. Silberberg, you gave us other tensions like the Halloween party and the box of Barbie parts to keep our minds shifted away from just MILO’S GRIEF. This was brilliant because Milo is an easy read-I want to hear about his grief but not be hit over the head with it. For a kid his age life keeps moving on. You are a funny guy-a really naturally funny guy. I give you a standing ovation for writing and illustrating Milo; Sticky Notes and Brain Freeze. {picture me standing, clapping loudly}

Sincerely in awe,

Peaceful Reader

p.s. Thank you for giving Summer, the crush, some last minute redemming qualities-because after all we all have something that makes us unique!
p.p.s could you please write your next book for elementary kids because I noticed your first book, Pond Scum, is also for middle school kids and I think they’ve had enough of your attention. PLEASE; I will be your friend for life.

Check out Alan Silberberg’s kooky website-Silberbooks.com.
Silberberg’s blog-with a book trailer.

Every page has a gem but I leave you with just two quotes:

Dabney St. Claire says that “timing is everything,” which is why i make sure to wear a watch every day so I’m always ready just in case. I figure it’s like when you go to a baseball game and bring your glove because it’s possible a foul ball will come right at you. And even though you’re sitting under the grandstand roof where no balls ever go, you wear that baseball glove through the whole game, which makes the popcorn you buy taste like dirt and oil and other stuff you can’t even put a finger on-but probably already did-and all that matters is you feel ready for the slimmest-ever chance that the first stray ball in the history of baseball is going to be hit right at your impossible seats. (39-41) (what an optimist!)

and this:

I mention this at dinner my first night at Marshall’s house, and you know what? They all laugh, and it’s so weird to hear people laughing at the dinner table that I feel really bad and stare into my plate, but Mrs. Hickler says, “No, Milo-that’s really funny. My mother does act a little like she’s still in high school. You should see her yoga clothes.” And it’s so shocking that laughing even coexists with eating, and it’s while I’m having broiled chicken (which I love) and green beans (which I hate but eat anyway) that I want to go home and pack up all my stuff and move right into Marshall’s house forever. (134-135) (see-you want to give him a hug too!)

Other magnificent reviews:

The Boy Reader
Chocolate Air

and Stacy @ Welcome to my Tweendom

To purchase your own beloved copy of this book at an IndieBound bookstore near you click on the title…Milo; Sticky Notes and Brain Freeze

Road to Tater Hill

by Edith M. Hemingway
2009
210 pgs

      I brought this one home from my recent large library book order that came three days before holiday break. I knew, from the description on Titlewave, it was one I wanted to read and it was worth it. My husband went to school at Warren Wilson College in Asheville, NC and he often regales us with interesting tales of living in this part of the South. Set in the Appalachian Mountains of North Carolina in 1963, Edith M. Hemingway draws on her own family’s experiences to create this tale.
     Annabel (Annie) and her mother are spending the summer with her grandparents while her dad is stationed oversees. Her mom is pregnant but the baby, born early, dies. Annie spends the summer missing this baby sister, Mary Kate, wondering what her days would be like if things had gone differently. She finds a nice sized rock and holds it like a baby, cuddling it, as she sits by the creek.   Her mother struggles and cannot get past the baby’s death, reeling in grief, forgetting she has a living daughter.   As Annie spends time by the creek, away from home, she meets a mountain women, Eliza McGhee who helps her come to understand her mother’s depression.
     Eliza is a most fascinating character and she slowly reveals her history to Annie. Through Miss Eliza’s revelations we learn of her abusive husband and death of her own child years earlier. Their relationship leads to Annie’s ability to help her own mother and also allows Annie to understand the other people in her life.
     Perfect Quote:

I was close enough now to see the woman sitting on the back stoop of her house with the door open behind her like a narrow slit leading to a dark cave. She reminded me of a character in some fairy tale I had read years ago-not a scary person, but someone who had lived through hard times. Her head was bent over an instrument that lay across her knees, and her face was hidden by the floppy folds of her sunbonnet. She bobbed her head to the rhythm of the music that she plucked from the strings. (58)

I loved Miss Eliza’s ability to envelope Annie into her life even though, previously, she shunned close relationships. Ostracised in her own community Miss Eliza deftly steps in and fills the gap in young Annie’s life. Annie leans on Miss Eliza for understanding and learns what it takes to be friend during difficult times; standing up for what is right and true. These two share a love of reading which is a wonderful connection-I loved Miss Eliza’s recollections of the librarian who brings books to her in prison.
When I get back to school I know I will be able to book talk this one right into an eager student’s hands.
Edith M. Hemingway’s website
Here is a good book trailer video.
Sherry at Semicolon liked it too!
Buy it for someone you love at an Indiebound store near you-Road to Tater Hill