life – Peaceful Reader

I made it!

Two successful surgeries at St Mary’s Hospital/Mayo in Rochester, MN and I am now recovering at home and have been for the last 3 weeks. My chest around the incision site is still very sore and my range of motion with my arms is limited but I am home and feel blessed to have made it. My extended family did such a great job of supporting me for over a week while I was there. Meals were bought, hotels stays were paid for and many, many cards and letters were welcomed. The first days of being home we had homemade meals delivered to us. It’s overwhelming to go through something like this and to feel the love from friends and family. Thank you to everyone who has helped in any small way.

It’s a little strange not to be going to school everyday as I laze about the house healing and going on small walks. I’ve read several books already including The Lincoln Highway by Amor Towles which I loved almost everything about it. I’m also catching up on series like This Is Us which I was way behind on. And I have a lot of time to ponder the mess we are in. The anniversary of George Floyd’s murder, Robb Elementary School, the shooting in Buffalo and the Roe vs Wade controversy. Like my heart is healing but this is a lot of major trauma to think on and it is so, so very frustrating that we can’t pass solid gun restrictions, that we cannot get better police reform, and that the right to choose should be left up to women. How did the religious right and the NRA take over like this? (Ronald Reagan era?)

I’m thankful to have made it through two tough surgeries and I’m happy to be on leave from a job I love and that I will get to heal over the summer. I wish Covid wasn’t making such a huge comeback as many people I know are sick again. All we can do is get through this summer with grace and dignity, use our voices and our dollars to make ourselves heard about the important issues laying in front of us, and we can demand change by getting out the vote. Make this a life worth living, everyday.

Love Dogs

There are so many awful things going on in the world today. Terrible laws are being proposed and passed, book bans in several states, Russia ruthlessly exerting its power in the Ukraine. It’s very difficult to see reports flashing on my phone. After I’ve donated, shared, and read enough to keep myself informed I then have to step away and focus on something else and right now I’m thinking of dogs. Yes, dogs. Loyal companions, easy cuddles. They ask for so little but to be loved and fed and walked.

Throughout my life I’ve had a long list of dogs. We had a gray French Miniature poodle growing up and then my dad, a hunter, raised several Brittany Spaniels and eventually two of my brothers owned Brittanys as well.

The first dog I had on my own as an adult was Taylor, a beautiful black Lab, who loved me to the moon and back. I inherited her from an ex-boyfriend because she noticeably missed me after we broke up. Taylor came with me when I moved from Colorado back to Iowa and she lived quite a few years with us here. She was Tristan’s first companion and that dog followed him everywhere. Taylor was so calm even my Grandma Bruch fell in love with her. She would pat Taylor’s head and say “You’re a pretty good girl for a dog.” She passed away one Christmas morning and it was a sad day for everyone in our household.

It took us exactly one year before we found another little black Lab puppy at our local shelter. We brought her home a day before Christmas to surprise the kids. She’s still with us at 13 years old. We had an opportunity a couple years ago to take in an older chocolate Lab dog because her family had a new baby in the house. Izzy was a plodding sweetheart of a dog, heart of gold, with soulful eyes. We were so sad when she passed a few years ago.

(Tarah and Izzy)

Tarah’s now much more gray and slower. In her heyday though she ran races with my husband and ran with him on a regular basis. A few times she’d get lost chasing a deer and return home hours later panting but happy. My husband was more of a cat person when I met him but he has come around. I’m usually the instigator of all things dog (“let’s get another one!” but three summers ago while we were in Northern Minnesota he saw an update from our shelter that they’d received a large batch of dogs and so when we returned home from our trip we thought “let’s just go take a little look…”

Nothing caught our eyes right away as we walked through the sad cages of barking dogs until we rounded this corner in the back and found Ruby, a beautiful Rhodesian Ridgeback pictured above. She’d come from a puppy mill in Oklahoma, been adopted by a farm family and then returned, someone was mean to her along this way and she came to us with a fear of men. For the first few weeks we thought she was bark-less but no, she was just scared and eventually, once she trusted us, her bark came back (somewhat unfortunately) Ridgebacks were bred to keep the lions at bay in South Africa and she acts like our home is her estate. We love her very much and respect all the trauma she’s experienced. Except that I lost sight of that a few weeks ago.

We were at the dog park when we ran into a friend who had an adorable Norwegian Elkhound little foster pup that I fell in love with and adopted her just a few days later. It was a whirlwind romance but our other two dogs, especially Ruby, did not feel the same affection for Niko. There was a lot of barking and complaining around our house with Niko trying to play with the Tarah and Ruby but to no avail. After some deep soul searching we decided to pass Niko on to friends who have three kids and no other dogs. Niko is a special pup and deserves the best possible life, Ruby deserves my full attention as the trauma babe that she is, and Tarah needs to live out her last few years in peace and harmony because this is the only home she knows. It should be a place of comfort.

And just as I write that last sentence my thoughts went right to the Ukrainian people who deserve that as well. It all comes full circle and dogs do often teach us the deep lessons. Peace be with you as we welcome Spring. Support efforts to help the Ukrainian people. Find resources on this NPR page. Stay in touch with what brings you joy as you reach out to help others.

Best of YA and elementary fiction

It’s a very snowy day here and I’m sorting boxes and putting my holiday decorations away. We walked in the snow with the dogs, one of my favorite winter activities. Dogs are like small children; the snow brings out their pure JOY!

I’ve had an amazing amount of work to do for school recently and just haven’t had a spare moment to write. I am participating with Adriene Mishler’s January 30-day yoga journey which has gently pushed me back into daily practice, something I’ve missed through November & December. She has a way of pulling you in and making it personal.

Completing my best of list for last year’s reading I was lucky to read or finish quite a few great young adult books.

Deathless Divide by Justina Ireland -The sequel to Dread Nation where Jane McKeene travels to the Wild West and connects with some old friends. This two-part series is so much fun with underlying serious truth telling.

Children of Virtue and Vengeance by Tomi Adeyemi – the second in the Legend of Orisha series that brings the magic back but Zelie and Amari have also unleashed other unknown powers in this fantastical world of legends and fairy tale. The author offers writing classes on her website.

Shadow and Bone- series by Leigh Bardugo – Reading friends that are former students brought this author to my attention and I spent a good portion of quarantine reading through this amazingly fun series. I am slowly watching the Netflix series but it is always difficult to pair up what was in my head with what is now on screen. (2) Siege and Storm (3) Ruin and Rising And this year I’m launching into the King of Scars series. Wow, she is a prolific and creative writer!

Six of Crows series – This is a different cast of characters with a little intermingling. This is probably my favorite book out of the whole series just because I find Kaz Brekker such an original character. (2) Crooked Kingdom

Nonfiction:

Neither Wolf nor Dog by Kent Nerburn – My friend Sue loaned me this one, asking me to be careful because it is a signed copy! I was careful as I turned the pages, never read it in the bathtub, and got it back to her in one piece. I felt such a connection to his writing and how he shared his time with Dan. This won the MN Book Award for 1996.

Caste: The Origins of Our Discontents by Isabel Wilkerson-I liked her writing style which made this book read faster than expected for a long nonfiction book. Her shared stories made it personal and within reach. Yes, I did the book club rounds on this one during the pandemic.

Elementary Fiction:

Becoming Muhammad Ali by Kwame Alexander and James Patterson – told through alternating chapters of prose and poetry we learn about the early life of Cassius Clay and how he began his boxing career.

The Lion of Mars by Jennifer L. Holm – Bell lives on a Mars space station, that’s all his ever known and he enjoys all of it until some odd things begin to happen and the adults get sick.

A Whale of the Wild by Rosanne Parry- This was a surprise win for me, told through a young Orca whale in a very emotional way of their family pod traveling together and how our world affects their underwater lives.

Before the Ever After by Jacqueline Woodson – ZJ’s relationship with his star football father has always been good but suddenly his dad is different and no one knows why yet…

Fighting Words by Kimberly Brubaker Bradley -realistic fiction about two young sisters fending for themselves after their mother’s arrest. They find themselves adopted by a woman who lives by her own set of rules. Tough love mixed with tears.

When You Trap a Tiger by Tae Keller – magical realism mixed with Korean Grandmother lore mixed in with a really good family story.

Ground Zero by Alan Gratz – 9-11 story, well told from two different perspectives. The end will amaze you

Our Friend Hedghog by Lauren Castillo – a new Winnie-the-Pooh style story, perfect to read with little ones.

Honorable Mentions:

Sweetest sexy book: Dear Pink by Michelle Angelle

Sad (yet profound) story: Okay, Mr. Field by Katherine Kilalea

Scariest story: Mexican Gothic by Silvia Moreno-Garcia

Storms

(The Patch)

What if today was the last day I saw my daughter? If she blew away or I blew away. Would she know how much I love her?

The dog sits on high alert trembling next to me. The sounds are shooting all around us. It’s dark as dusk out even though it’s only 4pm.

I went down the wrong way on a one -way street last weekend and my mind keeps repeating this. Accidents happen so quickly.

I was hit once going through an intersection. T-boned they say, like the steak. Our Volkswagen Jetta station wagon tipped over and was pushed a foot or so up the street but the police issued me a ticket. They waited while I was in the emergency room. I’d just picked my daughter up from after school care at her school. She had blood on her arm and kept saying “It’s my mommy’s blood” after they pulled her out the back window. Scared and crying; “It’s my mommy’s blood” on repeat.

Years pass. Has the storm passed? The dog is calmer listening to Alexa’s piano selections. I refuse to turn on the television just to hear all the flashing weather reports. I can hear it outside. I refuse to go to the basement also although I did go down just to take the laundry out. There are no comfy spots to relax with the scared dog and the old dog so I’m upstairs in the family room. Listening to the rain come down hard and the wind blowing the trees on the side of the house.

I was in another accident years ago in my 20s. It was dusk and an elderly man stopped confused by the red turn light even though he was in the lane with a green light. It was an icy Minnesota winter night and four cars behind him slide into each other, boom, boom, boom, boom on the bumpers. No one was hurt although I think the man’s ego was severely bruised.

Clear across town my daughter texts “on my way home” through the torrential rain and I think about the water rising on the roads and the teen drivers all leaving the water park. I would ask her to stay put but I know she is anxious to be home, here with me on the sofa with the dogs listening to piano muzak.

I see my Prius in the dark driveway getting a free carwash. I’m still thinking about the tall trees that surround the house, most of the time like a protective forest but now like a timber ready to take us out.

Driving doesn’t look safe as I check the front window, water filling the roadway as cars swoosh their way through.

What if today was the last day I saw my daughter? If she blew away or I blew away. Would she know how much I love her?

I recently read a stream-of-conscience novel and I wanted to try that style of writing as an experiment. We had heavy storms the other night with 49 tornadoes touching down in this area. I wrote this in the dark with a flashlight in the back of an old book because I didn’t want to disturb the shaking dog. Enjoy.

May Celebrations

The weather is chilly here, I am still wearing a warmer coat to walk the dogs, and haven’t planted anything yet because it gets too cold at night. Every once in a while the sun is strong in the afternoon and feels nice and warm. I’m ready for the intense heat of summertime. I’m also ready for my school students to run wildly out the door, to be free for the summer, to put this year behind. I don’t know what next year will look like but these kids need a summer break.

Yesterday I drove back home after visiting my brother and sister-in-law in the Minneapolis area. It was cold there also. Friday night we had an excellent dinner with this chickpea soup prepared by both my brother and his wife and old family friends helped as well. I feel like I’ve known them my whole life and there is something so reassuring about having people in your life that knew you as a young person. Marv was one of my dad’s best friends and Marcia still remains one of my mother’s besties. It was wonderful to watch the two of them talk at the table together, heads leaning in. My mother broke her hip in a recent fall and uses a walker right now and Marcia has her own. Marv recently recovered from a very serious heart surgery as well. We are all getting older. Yep. The night was magical though and it was lovely to visit with both Marv and Marcia, sharing and listening to their life stories. My nephew Beckett interviewed Marv about his Cold War experiences guarding the Berlin Wall. I loved hearing Marcia’s stories about childbirth in the 1970s where she had to argue to have her husband in the delivery room. We’ve come a long way baby.

The next day we had a lazy morning (I slept until 9:30!) and then went to Excelsior, browsed and had lunch at Coalition. We celebrated Mother’s Day all weekend and my brother’s 49th birthday. We had four different delicious desserts over the course of two days. And then I made fresh cinnamon rolls for Sunday brunch before we left town. I should think about giving up sugar for a few weeks. My brother is an amazing chef and really enjoys planning a menu and sharing food with friends and neighbors.

And then we had to come home, back to reality, back to lesson planning and waking up early. I did come home to a lovely daughter, and another calling me to leave a happy message from Brooklyn, and a son who took time to call and chat about everything. I felt loved all weekend long and even more so pulling into my own driveway, reaching my home destination because my family was happy to see me and my dogs were so excited to see me. I could tell because of the full body tail shake!

I finished The Night Watchman by Louise Erdrich, an excellent read, Transcendent Kingdom by Yaa Gyasi, the author of Homecoming, another excellent read. Now I am reading The Vanishing Half by Brit Bennett, author of The Mothers, both wonderful stories. I’m trying to squeeze in lots of adult fiction before summer hits because I’m taking two classes and I have lots of award contenders to read before August. Librarian Life. Enjoy…

May flowers and May Baskets

I remember vividly running around our neighborhood, delivering handmade May baskets when I was a little girl. It was such a thrill to hear your doorbell ring only to find your friend racing away, screaming with delight, after delivering a popcorn-filled basket on your doorstep. Such fun! Now some classrooms participate in this activity delivering popcorn-filled styrofoam cups around school and it’s still cool but it’s lacking that genuine thrill factor. Times change. If you want to bring that excitement back here is a fantastic resource, Create Whimsy, which gives many options over popcorn-filled cups like this plant-filled beauty. Next year I’m going to be prepared and start racing around my neighborhood delivering unique treats.

May is such a busy month as we work to finish out the school year strong, Groovy Girl has her dance recital coming up, we are looking forward to my in-laws visit, and my husband has two shows in the works. Through all these we have to work to breathe, take care of ourselves, go to yoga (me), and get enough sleep (all of us) to be our best. I have my eye on June but I don’t want to arrive there exhausted.

I’m working on a slideshow about gender stereotypes for 6th grade students for tomorrow and when I finish that task I have an excellent book, The Novice by Taran Matharu, to read. This is a book that a 4th grade student handed me and said I should give it a try. Now he stops in every morning to ask where I am in the story. We have a delightful conversation about the story and then he heads off to class. The part of the month that I dread is telling students that check out is finished for the year. At some point it’s a requirement to get all the books back into the library for the summer yet many of our students are such readers they will resist this news and it fills me with joy and breaks my heart at the same time.

What’s inspiring you today?

New Year, New Me

Not really. Why would I want a new me? I like me, most of the time and I’ve had a really pretty great 2018 so I say more of the same in 2019.

{Happy graduate with his two sisters}

Psychologically at this time last year, I had a major life meltdown. Things were not good in my family of 5 and we had a breakdown in communication. I bring this up only as a way to say we worked through it and we made it. That kind of life event does take a toll and I forced myself to find a therapist. I wasn’t sure how it could ultimately help but I needed someone to talk to other than family. It took two tries to find the right one and with that came the realization that talking to someone, sharing your inner struggles and concerns, is about wellness; not about being broken. While this life concern was resolved positively (thank the mighty universe) I am still happily visiting my therapist’s office every few weeks. I might choose to close that door soon but I know I can go back to it at any point.

{Celebrating Anton’s 24th birthday together}

In the midst of that family struggle, I worked hard to get our fostered adult Anton out on his own. While he really disliked living with us with our reasonable family rules and expectations he was afraid of how hard it was going to be in the real world on his own. He lived with us for 16 months trying to begin a different life. He was a community college student for two semesters, he held down a job for almost a year, and he learned (sort of) he was not a great money manager. He also learned once he was fired that finding another job is no easy task and that once you have a job it is so very important to treat it with care and respect. The world is filled with rules and expectations, ideas and norms that many people never grow up understanding.

It’s not that collectively we all need to know the same things but it is important for your own personal survival to understand how to get along. And the better you are at code-switching the better you are going to get along. I mean simple things like how to address an envelope, put on a stamp or pay a bill, how to dress up for a job interview no matter what position you are applying for, how to not bend rules at work to make it easier for you, how to get along and work with others who you might not like, oh the list is endless. Thankfully this young man is now living in our community with his friends trying to make it work. I’m glad that I still see him and can help him out when I can. I’m also very happy that he isn’t living in our guest room anymore. It was adding a great deal of undue stress into my family life. All I can do is remember that we did our best to help him create a new life; one where he can see past cyclical poverty and unemployment, even if he doesn’t understand those recurring roles in his life. Thank you to these lifelong friends for helping me through this tough journey. And for all my friends who support me.

My goal for the year is to bring yoga back into my life as it was the one thing I let go of in the wake of last year. I chose sleep over yoga but I have to find a way to have both. Other than that more writing and reading, more time for being tranquil. Peace and love my friends and hello to a new year.

Back to school

The end of school vacation is here. {try not to sob}

Summer remains-I prefer a long summer. This summer was the busiest I’ve had in a long time. Two grad classes to spark my imagination and recreate my classroom and two lovely vacations to relax my brain and prepare for the year ahead. I’m ready to celebrate more JOY at school and at home. I’ve finally fallen head first back into my yoga practice and feel ready to keep that going every day with intention. Today as I practiced my mind took me back to Loon Lake in Northern Minnesota. A perfectly calm place to be.

Groovy Girl is back at the dance thing and we’ll spend 4 nights at the studio each week. We’ve picked up a small batch of school supplies here and there. Today she managed to choose a new backpack (difficult b/c of ALL the choices) but she prefers to wait until her classes begin to see what she really needs. I’m freaked out about the need for a $180.00 graphing calculator…? I’m also shocked that my baby is a junior in high school and my firstborn is about to graduate from college! My – how time flies. It seems like yesterday that I was rocking my way through library grad school with a 6-year-old and a baby. And now I’m in my 16th year of teaching.

This past week I’ve made new binders for myself, got a little organized, mentally prepared my brain, and made a new batch of my homemade salsa. My mom has huge batches of tomatoes and I wanted to remind myself of all the steps so I did it alone one night this week; chopping onions, banana peppers, jalapenos, and skinning 20 cups of hot tomatoes while listening to music. It was magic in motion and a whirlwind of hot, spicy, and a few tears shed to get to the final-6 jars of salsa!

I made a simple dinner tonight with farmers market fare and I’ve had a lovely glass of pinot noir. I ate an amazing dark chocolate bar with blackberry sage and I shared with G, J, and K. In a few minutes, I’m going off to do a little bedtime yoga. This year is going to fly by and I want it to begin (and end) with flare. Are you ready for school?

Happy Easter

Happy April! Happy Easter!

I hope everyone communed with family and friends today, enjoyed a good meal together, searched for eggs, maybe had a lovely basket delivered by somebunny.

Spring started on March 20th and it is still freezing here. I must be having a bit of seasonal depression (or just depression) because the cold weather is very much affecting me this year. I see what looks like warm sun out there but the moment you walk out the door 33 degrees and wind will hit you. All week long it’s going to be like this and I’m not sure I’ll make it. I did make more bread yesterday and pizza dough as well. We had a delicious spinach, tomato, goat cheese, pesto and basil pizza last night for dinner.

I’m reading short stories by Flannery O’Connor and while I find them insightful and deep; the “N” word is really hard for me to read over and over. In front of a warm fire, I read and watch the birds (especially this one very bright red cardinal) flock to our backyard birdfeeder which is a good reminder that Spring will show up and the birds’ dance and play as they wait patiently just as I should. Happy living everyone.

We need diverse books

I heard some guy interviewed on NPR today discussing recent events in Charlottesville, VA. He ended the discussion with an admonition that everyone should invite a family of a different color, religion, belief system over for dinner; that through personal interactions such as a simple family meal we could end racial strife.

It sounds good. And I do have diverse people to my house for dinner. I want to know who’s going to volunteer to have the neo-Nazi family over though? Not me. Maybe I would IF I thought I could magically unwrap their hatred. I’d rather have Tina Fey over for dinner though and I’d serve a sheet cake at the end. And then we’re just preaching to the choir.

Quite awhile ago (before the election ended so tragically) I ordered a stack of books from Amazon. I’d read a review about Angie Thomas’ new book that enticed me and two other books were suggested to me by that handy Amazon tool. In a rare moment of frivolousness I ordered all three-very unlike me. I read The Hate you give pretty quickly and LOVED it. I promote it all around town and on twitter. Loved it. She wrote an interesting story with genuine characters on a timely topic. The second book was Renee Watson’s book Piecing me together; an excellent coming-of-age tale about tough choices and being yourself. I discovered I had an ARC of an earlier Watson book, This side of home, about a set of twins coming into their own as separate young women, which I then devoured as well. The 3rd book took me a bit longer to get to-I don’t know why-but it set on my dining room table for months. I packed it for vacation though and read it on the road. Ibi Zoboi’s American Street. Unlike the other three this one is not about the black experience in America but a Haitian immigrants experience as a young high schooler trying to learn how to be American amidst family strife. This one I enjoyed yet I struggled with decisions made and lack of consequences for Fabiola’s cousins. I look forward to other stories she may have to tell. Another one I just finished that can be added is Ghost by @JasonReynolds83, a powerful tale about a young man trying to make good choices in his life.

In an attempt to explore new human experiences any of these titles would fit the bill. Feel free to invite them to dinner, follow these authors on twitter, and pay attention. I believe in the library but buying diverse books sends a message to publishers: #weneeddiversebooks

@acthomasbooks
@reneewauthor
@ibizoboi