mothers – Peaceful Reader

My mama

Judith Ann Cherry

January 15, 1939 – March 17, 2023

Judy Cherry, 84, of Waverly, IA, passed peacefully Friday, March 17, 2023 at the Cedar Valley Hospice, Waterloo. Judy struggled with a blood disorder called myelodysplastic syndrome (MDS) for many years, eventually succumbing to it. She lived longer than expected and the extra time allowed her to enjoy many visits from and amazing meals with family and friends.

The daughter of Lavera Ann (Westendorf) and Ewald Bruch, Judy was born January 15, 1939 in Waterloo, IA. She graduated from East High School in 1957 and attended nursing school for one year at Coe College before choosing a different path. She married Roger Matz on April 12, 1958 and together they had four children: Mike, Michelle, Chris and Jason. On December 31, 1998, Judy married James Cherry in Cedar Falls and the couple made their home in Ventura and then Waverly.

Judy completed her education at Minnesota State University, Mankato and had many life roles: she was a mom, a dreamer, a traveler, a wife, a friend, a businesswoman. She struck people with her fun-loving and eccentric personality.

Judy began her professional career as a teacher in Sleepy Eye, MN before helping her husband Roger acquire and manage small newspapers including The Redfield Press and The Spirit Lake Beacon. Judy later owned and operated the Okoboji Grill, in Okoboji, IA where she especially enjoyed working with the young staff. Judy loved good food, travel, boating Minnesota lakes and rivers, reading books and magazines, games, movies, and documentaries. She loved and cared for many family dogs. Judy gardened all her life and in recent years grew beautiful tomatoes that she shared freely.

She was a gourmet home chef and loved cooking meals from the many cookbooks collected on her travels around the country and to Europe. Passing a love of good food to her children, Judy in later years appreciated watching us cook for her while talking and enjoying a glass of wine. Dining with family and friends was one of Judy’s greatest joys.

Judy was a wonderful grandmother and enjoyed caring for young grandchildren, taking them on adventures and outings and shuttling them to ski, dance, soccer, baseball, and hockey. She was a sharp and competitive Spite and Malice player and especially loved teaching it and playing it with her grandchildren. All the better when she won!

Young people enjoyed talking with Judy and she loved getting to know people and was compassionate in her views of the world. She was interested in politics and things that were happening in the world around her.

Surviving are her husband of 24 years, Jim Cherry of Waverly; her children Mike (Sally Shuffield) Matz, of Durango, CO; Michelle (Greg) Holt, of Cedar Falls; Chris (Jennifer Reynolds) Matz, of Denver, CO and Jason (Stephanie) Matz, of Deephaven, MN; her grandchildren: Carson, Celia, Kaylee, Tristan, Japhy, Henry, Sawyer, Wynn, Rider, Marin, Jasper, and Beckett; her step-children Mike (Audra) Cherry, Dana (Mark) Watson, and Kim (Tony Green) Cherry; her step-grandchildren Rebecca, Ryan, Leah, Tyler, Nate, Jacob, and Rolie; and her 6 step-great grandchildren as well as many good friends.

Preceding her in death are her first husband, Roger, and brothers Robert and Wayne.

Services will be at Redeemer Lutheran Church in Waverly at 2:00 pm on Friday, March 24. In lieu of flowers, donations to the Cedar Valley Hospice would be appreciated.

Post Note: Two of my siblings and I wrote, rewrote and edited this tribute to my mom and then find out that obituaries are the. main means for newspaper cash flow! I wanted to share the whole thing with everyone because an edited version will appear in local papers. She lived a full and happy life. Cheers!

Feeling the blues, finding the joy

I know I’m not the only one but it still feels uncomfortable. I went to bed on Christmas night fighting all manner of demons. Did everyone get something they were excited about? Was there enough food? Was there enough joy and laughter? Our time together is very limited as a family and we had a new boyfriend in the mix. Did he enjoy his time with us? Was it all stimulating enough? Did we take them to cool places in town? Were we Covid-cautious enough for the New Yorkers? And the tree-oh, the tree was a whole thing!

It’s hard to answer all these questions as you head off to sleep and truthfully you never know but here is what I do know: our bellies were full with good food, we laughed and played together and there was not one fight! People seemed happy with gifts they received and most importantly they seemed to enjoy the gift giving process as well. Even the son got on board with gift giving in real time. Last year he ordered everyone’s gifts Christmas Day and while that had its own thrill, this year he said it was important to see everyone’s faces as they opened gifts! There in is the gift worth opening-the spirit of simple giving.

I’ve worked to let my anxious feelings go over the last few days. It is what it is and I can see us laughing together especially over our online Jeopardy, the raucous sounds of lively foosball games rising from the basement, and the joy of sitting around the table together. One of my highlights was listening to Kaylee explain just how Christmas morning would go because we have a pattern, a flow to how our traditions unfold and that description was priceless.

The new year is approaching and the children are once again scattered back to their homes but we will hold the Christmas of 2021 especially dear because we could be all together and we were happy for those days, sharing our memories and our lives. We say “cheers” for a healthy and hope-filled 2022. Find what makes you stay sane…

Thanks and Giving

Gratitude is everything. I don’t feel great about the whole holiday experience surrounding conquerors and Indigenous people. In my vivid imagination I can see what a different world we might be in if only the “pilgrims” had learned from the people already living here on this land.

Greta Thunberg would be living a different reality. We might have created a much simpler life and people wouldn’t be thinking past gratitude to Black Friday. Or planning and prepping the copious amounts of food on this holiday and others as well. We’d eat what we needed and share easily with others.

I feel passionately for the underdog and celebrating a holiday that represents a misguided look at history and what came after is wrong to me. I understand why Abraham Lincoln made it an official holiday (to bring unity to the nation during the Civil War) but when we know better we should do better.

Find ways to connect to the Wampanoag people because they welcomed and helped the first immigrants to survive. Make a donation this year to American Indian College Fund or the First Nations Development Institute. Read a book about Native life such as Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer or books by Joseph Bruchac, Kent Nerburn or Louise Erdrich. Seek out Native authors and Native films. Think about what foods the real Thanksgiving might have had and give that a try. Branch out. Make fry bread or wild rice soup. Check out The Sioux Chef’s Indigenous Kitchen by Sean Sherman and Beth Dooley, the book or the restaurant in Minneapolis.

This PBS article and video are worth exploring. I would love to go one day to Cole’s Hill to be part of this National Day of Mourning. Why can’t we give more land back because in the long run this land will help to save the earth. Returning Native forest land to it’s original intent over commercial property is a win for nature. Native Americans are a thriving community and once again we could learn from them.

I’ve worked on this post on and off during November. Just having a hard time getting all the words out. I feel a turning in as the winter weather marches out and as my thoughts focus on Mother Earth it coincides with my mother’s health issues. I feel a snapping inside myself as time becomes stretched too thin.

My hope is that everyone had a lovely time with family, connecting in a positive spirit and that gratitude was a guest at your table.

We took a quick trip to Chicago to see the oldest daughter Kaylee and ate the most amazing vegan food at The Chicago Diner. Usually vegan and vegetarian people have a small selection (sometimes one choice) on a average menu but here at the diner it was almost overwhelming as Kaylee put it because everything was an option and it all sounded delicious. Even our one meat-loving papa enjoyed his vegan Radical Reuben sandwich.

What I’ve cooked: This amazing pumpkin soup from Cookie and Kate. I made it with canned pumpkin and it still tasted like all the goodness of the earth.

What I’ve read: I just finished The Children’s Bible by Lydia Millet and I highly recommend. It coincides so well with how I’m feeling right now. We, the children, are the caretakers and our children will be the radical change-makers.

What I’ve watched: Fell in love with Ted Lasso (totally late to the game here), trying to finish up Outlander because the book arrived on my doorstep the other day, and began watching the Shadow and Bone series with Groovy Girl because the Leigh Bardugo books were thrilling!

I am grateful to each and everyone of my readers. I appreciate the comments, texts, and connections I’ve made through my posts. Peace be with you this month and into the next as we avoid more over abundance. Be well in spirit and mind.

Good-bye to January

I’m ready for February, even though we are still in the middle of winter, it puts us a little closer to Spring. It’s very cold here with mounds of gorgeous snow, and I did make it outside for one long walk with the dogs. I still feel bedraggled many days and overwhelmed on other days but there is still an inching toward feeling healthy and whole again. Soup always makes me feel better!

I made a delicious black bean soup from the New England Soup Factory Cookbook, a Christmas gift from my mother-in-law. This is the second soup I’ve made from the book and both recipes were easy to follow and tasted delicious. The first recipe I made a few days after Christmas and it fit the bill for how I was feeling: Spicy Chicken and Rice Flu Chaser Soup and my mother had just gifted me several local farm-raised chickens. Look at all the wonderful mothering help I’ve received! Grateful for that during this tough month.

This black bean recipe was very easy to put together on a Saturday afternoon and even though I didn’t have any sherry in my cupboards it turned out amazing. We added diced avocados as well because why not?

So, of course, I’ve been eating well. And reading lots in between creating major lesson plans for school. I had a library hold on The Midnight Library by Matt Haig, which I read an amazing review about and the book is short but worthy. It pokes into some philosophical ideas I’ve thought about over the last few years. The road less traveled or the road not taken…

Let’s dive into February and find ways to educate ourselves and celebrate Black history everyday through February and make it a part of who we are.

29 days of book love…

Inkheart

Cornelia Funke

(2003)

originally published in German

This book is a thrilling ride crafted for fantasy lovers and book readers of every kind. Imagine how it would change your reading style if your reading abilities could change the story as it does for Meggie and her dad Mo. Mo loves books and is good at fixing them. He was also a very good storyteller at one time. Soon after her mother’s disappearance though Mo won’t read to Meggie and she doesn’t understand why. Mo has such incredible reading abilities that even a few bad guys are interested in his talents.

What if, I as a librarian, read in such a way that my library patrons one-by-one began disappearing as I was reading? Would you want to send your child to the library anymore? Meggie and Mo’s journey and the unique cast of characters smattered along the way make this an incredible story worth sharing. I once read it aloud to a class of 5th grade students in Little Rock. Their teacher and I were friends and she struggled with readalouds so I agreed to help her by modeling. This is the book I chose, I went every afternoon to read to them, and they were mesmerized by the story. It was one of the best experiences I had of transporting children (and their teacher) to another land far, far away…

The movie is not worth it and even the second book not so much. This book is a stand alone for me. It’s so good it doesn’t need anything more.

John Irving, master storyteller

My eyes were blurry and yet I kept reading. I just wanted to finish and find out how Owen Meany died. It’s a critical question in the book as the last half is focused on the fact that Owen knows when he is going to die based on a recurruing dream he has. His best friend John is in the dream as well as a group of Vietnamese children. Owen has trouble with the details but he is certain enough that he carves his own gravestone marker at his parent’s quarry. To be that certain that your dream is accurate, to be so certain of your faith are all part of Owen Meany’s character-that and his crazy voice.

It’s not an easy book to finish. I feel all of February has been dedicated to this book and usually in that amount of time I can get at least 2-3 books finished. Not so with a John Irving novel. My friend Sue picked this for our book club selection this month and I was glad as I’d never read it. My husband and another friend Tim both pick this as one of their favorites. After the first 10 pages I wasn’t so sure-I especially disliked the super long chapters-and I pushed through that only to really fall in love with the story. It has so many great connecting ideas and what it has to say about faith and friendship are great reminders to us all.

Thank you Sue for making this a book club pick and for a great book club discussion.

I heard a little “amen” in Owen’s voice when I shouted “I finished” last night.

I heard there is a movie. Anyone watched it?

Also two very different covers…I prefer the armadillo version myself.

Book Club Book + Salad recipe

We recently gathered together on a snowy Monday night and discussed Flight Behavior (2012) by one of my favorite writers, Barbara Kingsolver. Our book club was whittled down to just a hardy few as the weather had taken a turn for the worse mid-afternoon. I braved the cold and the icy roads just to talk about this book but also because I’d made an amazing salad to share. We go potluck at these gatherings and I hadn’t been the only one thinking salad or healthy. We shared a brussels sprout salad, a beet salad, a delicious spinach dip, and a light-tasting 5-flavor pound cake. Our plates were pretty as we sat to discuss the book.

Flight Behavior follows Dellarobia Turnbow as she picks her way through her unhappy marriage. One of the symptoms of her sadness is to seek out small-time crush-worthy men in her rural Tennessee community. At the opening she is headed into the woods to meet up with her latest crush, the telephone man, to see if they want to take things one step further. On the way up the mountain that sits right on her family’s property to meet him she stops to breathe and is overwhelmed by a phenomena~she can’t tell if it is fire but something strange has the mountain top trees all lit up. This oddity gives her pause to change her mind and head back down the mountain away from the sin she was thinking of committing.

Dellarobia is a fascinating character that grows immensely during the course of her story. Kingsolver truly is a master storyteller weaving an array of unique characters into a timely and thought-provoking event. What Dellarobia glimpsed on the mountaintop was Monarch butterflies all come to roost on her husband’s land. The migration of this butterfly swoops through Mexico every year for thousands of years and this year they didn’t make it there.

Today on this bitterly cold day I’m not going to make a crack about how global warming can’t be true as it is freezing outside! We are by our very existence altering the course of our earth by the products we use, clear-cutting whole mountaintops of trees, car emissions, food production, energy, and coal plants. It is taking a toll on our home; our world and this fact comes home to roost for Dellarobia as she watches and learns more about this magnificent butterfly.

I loved the climate conversation this book brings to light but on a more simple note Dellarobia’s relationship with her children takes on a magical quality for me. She begins as a mother who is pained by her son Preston’s constant questioning of the universe, making her slip out the back door for a “secret” smoke. She loves her children at all stages throughout but her appreciation for their natural childish qualities readjusts Dellarobia’s thinking. As the butterflies transform her and remind her of what she can still be she emerges as a mother who stokes her own son’s curiosity fueling it with thoughts, theories, and books to pour over. Dellarobia looks at even the little Cordelia, still in diapers, with new and glowing eyes. Hope has sprung and Dellarobia sees a future for her children and herself.

The book is breath-taking and yet I have other Kingsolver stories that I love more-that’s how talented she is. Read NPR’s review.

The salad:
adapted from Yoga Journal (Feb. 2014)

Feel-Good Quinoa Pilaf

1 cup quinoa
1/2 head radicchio, cored and thinly sliced
1/4 cup balsamic vinegar
2 T extra-virgin olive oil
1/4 cup dried tart cherries (expensive-could substitute dried cranberries)
1/4 cup pistachios (shelled, of course)
3 T fresh flat-leaf parsley
1/2 tsp sea salt
freshly ground black pepper

1. Put quinoa in a fine mesh strainer, and rinse well under cold water. In a saucepan, bring two cups of water to a boil over high heat. Add quinoa, and reduce heat to low. Cover and simmer until grains are tender and water is absorbed, about 15 minutes. Remove from heat and let cool slightly. Transfer to a large bowl and fluff with a fork to separate grains.

2. Add radicchio, vinegar, olive oil, cherries, pistachios, and parsley to bowl, and stir to mix well. Season with salt and pepper. Serve warm or at room temperature. Delicious!

I made a double batch for book club because we have twelve members and since only half of them showed up I had half a bowl left for lunch during the week. My husband tried it and loved it also.

from Yoga Journal “with melatonin-rich dried cherries, pistachios, which contain B-6, and protein-rich quinoa, this easy weeknight pilaf has nutreints to help you sleep soundly, keep your memory sharp, and maintain healthy muscles.”

Book + Salad = healthy humans
Have a peaceful day.

Girl Power picture books

Groovy Girl read all these picture books the first two days we had the bag home from the library. Me, well, it has taken me over two weeks to read all of them and I had to renew them once in order to write about a few of them.

1. The Queen of France by Tim Wadham, ill. by Kady Macdonald Denton (2011); Rose wakes up and “feels royal” so she plays dress up and goes to look for her mother dressed regally. Using her imagination her parents play along as Rose changes from the queen to Rose and back again. A seemingly simple tale of love and acceptance, Rose demonstrates one can be a girl with many sides. Denton draws Rose with a Ramona-like haircut in amazing watercolor illustrations. Click here for an interview with Tim Wadham. Hooray for first time author Wadham, a fellow librarian, with this picture book.

2. Not All Princesses Dress In Pink by the mother/daughter writers Jane Yolen & Heidi E.Y. Stemple; ill. by Anne-Sophie Languestin (2010); Similar message in this one with quirky digital illustrations. Each page shares how princesses can play soccer, baseball, wrestle with a dog, dance in the rain, break their nails while planting a garden of pumpkins (of course), and my favorite, escape a stony tower using all their cool girl power, using a ladder like monkey bars. I like Denton’s illustrations better but the message of this one is equally strong: whatever you choose to be you can still wear your sparkly crown!

Happy Sunday and wear your crown with pride!

The very unique Hardscrabble family in The Kneebone Boy by Ellen Potter

Oh, I am having so much fun reading this week, getting books off my to-read shelf that have languished too long. I thought this one was going to be all copycat Lemony Snickett(poor, poor orphan children) and while it does have some similarities, the Hardscrabble family is very unique.

“There were three of them. Otto was the oldest, and the oddest. Then there was Lucia, who wished something interesting would happen. Last of all was Max, who always thought he knew better. They lived in a small town in England called Little Tunks.” (1)

It is written in a very meta-fictive style in that as the reader you are talked to in a certain, knowing way. Their father has to go out of town on a supposed business trip and sends the children off to London, to an aunt’s house. Once they arrive they find only the cat sitter who made the mistake of pretending to understand what their dad said when he called to make arrangements.

Their aunt is truly on holiday and the cat sitter won’t let them stay (she doesn’t know them after all!) so they spend one scary night in London and then head off to their Great- Aunt’s house near the sea. It’s quite a journey and once they arrive their Great-Aunt is not what they expect at all. They have a small castle to explore and they find themselves pulled into the mysterious kneebone boy fiasco, which really all leads to what the Hardscrabble children really need; answers to what happened to their mother.

I found this book to be wonderfully quirky and I could think of a whole list of students to recommend it to because you need a unique mind to enjoy the Hardscrabble’s as characters as well as their unique journey.
I found it so refreshing when the children find out (although Otto remembers) that their mother has been dealing with her own mental health and that that is where the father goes every time he sets off for a trip.

Ellen Potter breathes an unusual life into Otto, Lucia, and Max, creating this story and I wouldn’t mind hearing more about their adventures. Take note of the cover above and realize you will find yourself returning to it throughout the story, checking on details about the children-like Otto’s scarf, wrapped so tightly around his neck, as though he is continually cold. Details. Explore Potter’s website

Friday Feature; Celebrating Multicultural Mamas

There are many, many beautiful books about the women who tend to us. This is a short list of books featuring mother’s and their struggles.

1) Hair for Mama by Kelly A. Tinkham; ill. by Amy June Bates (2007).

Marcus tells the story of his mother’s cancer and how it affects their annual picture day. Mama doesn’t want to be in the picture if she doesn’t have any hair and Marcus searches for the perfect solution. Sweet, Sweet story.

2) Mama’s Saris by Pooja Makhijani; ill. by Elena Gomez (2007).

A young girl admires her mother’s sari collection, kept in an old suitcase under the bed, as her mother chooses one to wear for a special occasion. The little girl desperately wants to wear one so she can feel just like her mama. The illustrations are filled with gorgeous colors of the saris as they remember special occasions.

3) A Chair For My Mother by Vera B. Williams (1982).

A fire destroyed their belongings so a young girl, mama and grandma save change in a jar in hopes of one day buying a beautiful new chair. They find an apartment to live in and the neighborhood pitches and shares furniture with them but the young girl wants so much to purchase a big, comfy chair for her mother to sit in after a long day of waiting tables.

What books are in your collection that celebrate mothers?

I don’t know what’s planned for me on Sunday but I do know I’ll be happy, surrounded by my children. My two wishes: great weather and a little time to read.