mothers – Page 2 – Peaceful Reader

She Looks Just Like You! (Oh I hear that all the time!)

I remember the days when I had time at work or home to pull together extra minutes to write a book review. Hah! We are experiencing a crazy schedule and I have to pick and choose what I can get done.

I did manage to finish reading Peter and the Shadow Thieves tonight after our church dinner celebrating Haitian culture. I simply came home, laid down on the sofa and read. I wanted it finished for my 5th grade book club meeting at school, which meets today, and no way did I want to listen to 5 students discuss the ending without having my own insight. Now I can shout it from the mountain top-Dave Barry and Ridley Pearson wrote an a thrilling sequel to Peter and the Starcatchers. I wonder what Peter and the Secret of Rundoon is like….hmmm….must add to list.

But I digress because today I’m actually here to tell you about She Looks Just Like You; A Memoir of (Nonbiological Lesbian) Motherhood(2010) by Amie Klempnauer Miller. This is a “hot button” topic right now and one that I am firmly for-and I will gladly shout this from the mountain top as well- people should be able to love who they want.*

The description of Amie falling in love with Jane while they were both at a Midwestern college could mirror my own love story. I’m probably preaching to the choir but my wish would be if just one person who is against gay marriage read this book with an open mind and had a change of heart would be mo. It’s about people and love and justice. I feel without a doubt that this is the Civil Rights struggle of the 21st Century. Same-sex couples should have the same rights as heterosexuals, to marry, foster and adopt children and to share health care. Amie explains how frustrating it was to have to go to court to adopt her daughter.

Amie and Jane’s love story and their decision to become parents after an 18 year relationship is personal, heart-warming and I recommend this book for the story it shares. Okay, for her first book she does overwrite a bit-lengthy discussions and overly descriptive at times, but it is her retelling. Once Hannah is born the book made me laugh and cry because parenthood is funny and tragic all at once.

Nursing, late night trips to the doctor, over guessing every dang decision, worry added to more worry is what encompasses the second half of the book and that is the dream/nightmare most parents also experience. It brought back my nursing joys and baby love. I nursed and hated weaning Groovy Girl. Yet I was the one who wanted to wean her because she was old enough to ask for it on demand and Spring Break and summer loomed ahead and I knew I just couldn’t take it anymore. Ahhh, the irony of it all!

The difficult part about reading this book is “watching” Amie and Jane’s relationship crumble as they find their new roles as mom and mamma much more difficult than any parenting manuel can ever express. Thank you to Amie for writing a book that is honest about how hard it can be for anyone to be sleep-deprived, work full-time, try to write, try to placate your partner all while the child is wailing-it’s painful but well-told.

My favorite movie this year was The Kid’s Are All Right, which has a similar theme of a longtime lesbian couple (Benning and Moore) with children and the children choose to meet their sperm donor father. It is realistic and hilarious!

Amie Klempnaer Miller’s website and blog-keep up with the family!

A random quote:

“Pregnancy slaps you in the face with the knowledge that much of who we are is defined by our bodies. On a daily basis, Jane is becoming less self-sufficient. Her growing stomach limits the clothes she can wear, the things she can reach, and the spaces she can fit into. Hormones course through her veins like hallucinogenic drugs, making her drop things, forget what she is saying in the middle of a sentence, and gag whenever she tries to brush her teeth. Her body is hot and tired and beginning to swell. And now she is surrounded by a room full of even hotter, more exhausted, and more swollen women, like perverse Ghosts of Christmas Future, presenting vision upon vision of what she will become.” (80)

Other thoughts:
Emily reviews it at What All the Cool Kids Are Reading…

I found my copy on the new shelf at my local library!

*disclaimer-understand this to mean I don’t consider small children or young adult children to be love interest candidates for adults. I’ve heard this argument before and clearly I know the difference between consenting adults who like each other or fall in love. Often we don’t pick who we fall in love with-it happens. I happened to have fallen in love with a tall, brown-haired man who slurps his cereal and drives with his knee. I still love him and find him incredibly sexy most of the time!

Do you feel GLBT can be good parents/partners? Let me know in the comment section…

A letter to Alan Silberberg- (creator of Milo; Sticky Notes and Brain Freeze)

Dear Mr. Silberberg;

I just wanted to write you a quick thank you note for writing such an outstanding middle grade book! Milo is a one-of-a-kind-kinda guy! There isn’t a part of this book that I didn’t love…parts of it I loved so much they made me weep. I learned quickly that Milo has some obstacles-he’s not graceful or popular but he does have big ideas and a kind heart. I also learned Milo misses his mom everyday and that her memory has been cleaned right out of their house by his grieving father. Since his mother’s death Milo’s been walking around in a fog, moving from house to house, never getting a grip on the simple fact that his mother is no longer there for him.

I loved how you gave him someone to pine for in Summer Goodman and a suave alter-ego in Dabney St. Claire. You gave him a wonderful friend, Marshall, who is there to be silly with but through Marshall’s family you gave Milo a way to experience a happy family. You developed another friendship for Milo by introducing him to Hillary, his annoying next-door-neighbor, who turns out to be not so annoying after all. Hillary shares with readers that we all have our secrets and our strong points. Yeah Hillary! You gave Milo an adult neighbor and friend, Sylvia Poole, who shares her experiences with grief and helps Milo clear away some of his fog. You gave him a kind teacher, Mr. Shivnesky, who cares enough to give Milo a 5-minute break when things get tough.

Mr. Silberberg, you gave us other tensions like the Halloween party and the box of Barbie parts to keep our minds shifted away from just MILO’S GRIEF. This was brilliant because Milo is an easy read-I want to hear about his grief but not be hit over the head with it. For a kid his age life keeps moving on. You are a funny guy-a really naturally funny guy. I give you a standing ovation for writing and illustrating Milo; Sticky Notes and Brain Freeze. {picture me standing, clapping loudly}

Sincerely in awe,

Peaceful Reader

p.s. Thank you for giving Summer, the crush, some last minute redemming qualities-because after all we all have something that makes us unique!
p.p.s could you please write your next book for elementary kids because I noticed your first book, Pond Scum, is also for middle school kids and I think they’ve had enough of your attention. PLEASE; I will be your friend for life.

Check out Alan Silberberg’s kooky website-Silberbooks.com.
Silberberg’s blog-with a book trailer.

Every page has a gem but I leave you with just two quotes:

Dabney St. Claire says that “timing is everything,” which is why i make sure to wear a watch every day so I’m always ready just in case. I figure it’s like when you go to a baseball game and bring your glove because it’s possible a foul ball will come right at you. And even though you’re sitting under the grandstand roof where no balls ever go, you wear that baseball glove through the whole game, which makes the popcorn you buy taste like dirt and oil and other stuff you can’t even put a finger on-but probably already did-and all that matters is you feel ready for the slimmest-ever chance that the first stray ball in the history of baseball is going to be hit right at your impossible seats. (39-41) (what an optimist!)

and this:

I mention this at dinner my first night at Marshall’s house, and you know what? They all laugh, and it’s so weird to hear people laughing at the dinner table that I feel really bad and stare into my plate, but Mrs. Hickler says, “No, Milo-that’s really funny. My mother does act a little like she’s still in high school. You should see her yoga clothes.” And it’s so shocking that laughing even coexists with eating, and it’s while I’m having broiled chicken (which I love) and green beans (which I hate but eat anyway) that I want to go home and pack up all my stuff and move right into Marshall’s house forever. (134-135) (see-you want to give him a hug too!)

Other magnificent reviews:

The Boy Reader
Chocolate Air

and Stacy @ Welcome to my Tweendom

To purchase your own beloved copy of this book at an IndieBound bookstore near you click on the title…Milo; Sticky Notes and Brain Freeze

Road to Tater Hill

by Edith M. Hemingway
2009
210 pgs

      I brought this one home from my recent large library book order that came three days before holiday break. I knew, from the description on Titlewave, it was one I wanted to read and it was worth it. My husband went to school at Warren Wilson College in Asheville, NC and he often regales us with interesting tales of living in this part of the South. Set in the Appalachian Mountains of North Carolina in 1963, Edith M. Hemingway draws on her own family’s experiences to create this tale.
     Annabel (Annie) and her mother are spending the summer with her grandparents while her dad is stationed oversees. Her mom is pregnant but the baby, born early, dies. Annie spends the summer missing this baby sister, Mary Kate, wondering what her days would be like if things had gone differently. She finds a nice sized rock and holds it like a baby, cuddling it, as she sits by the creek.   Her mother struggles and cannot get past the baby’s death, reeling in grief, forgetting she has a living daughter.   As Annie spends time by the creek, away from home, she meets a mountain women, Eliza McGhee who helps her come to understand her mother’s depression.
     Eliza is a most fascinating character and she slowly reveals her history to Annie. Through Miss Eliza’s revelations we learn of her abusive husband and death of her own child years earlier. Their relationship leads to Annie’s ability to help her own mother and also allows Annie to understand the other people in her life.
     Perfect Quote:

I was close enough now to see the woman sitting on the back stoop of her house with the door open behind her like a narrow slit leading to a dark cave. She reminded me of a character in some fairy tale I had read years ago-not a scary person, but someone who had lived through hard times. Her head was bent over an instrument that lay across her knees, and her face was hidden by the floppy folds of her sunbonnet. She bobbed her head to the rhythm of the music that she plucked from the strings. (58)

I loved Miss Eliza’s ability to envelope Annie into her life even though, previously, she shunned close relationships. Ostracised in her own community Miss Eliza deftly steps in and fills the gap in young Annie’s life. Annie leans on Miss Eliza for understanding and learns what it takes to be friend during difficult times; standing up for what is right and true. These two share a love of reading which is a wonderful connection-I loved Miss Eliza’s recollections of the librarian who brings books to her in prison.
When I get back to school I know I will be able to book talk this one right into an eager student’s hands.
Edith M. Hemingway’s website
Here is a good book trailer video.
Sherry at Semicolon liked it too!
Buy it for someone you love at an Indiebound store near you-Road to Tater Hill

One Crazy Summer

by Rita Williams-Garcia
(2010)
215 pages

It’s 1968 and LBJ is president, the Vietnam War rages on and Robert Kennedy’s funeral takes place at St. Patrick’s Cathedral in NYC. The Yippie Movement lead by Abbie Hoffman is in East Coast while on the West, the Black Panthers lead their own movement. While they protest Huey Newton’s arrest and the death of young Panther, Bobby Hutton, the Panthers also run a summer camp of sorts, a free health clinic and provide breakfast for thousands of children in the Oakland neighborhood. It was fascintating stuff learning more about this organization, generally shadowed in a negative light.

The book opens with three sisters, Delphine, Vonetta and Fern, flying from NYC to Oakland, CA where they will meet their mother-the mother who abandoned them years earlier when Fern was a baby. She chose poetry over her own children but their father feels it is important for the girls to see her.

The meeting:

The stewardess marched us on over to this figure. Once we were there, face-to-face, the stewardess stopped in her tracks and made herself a barrier between the strange woman and us. The same stewardess who let the large white woman gawk at us and press money into Fern’s hand wasn’t so quick to hand us over to the woman I said was our mother. I wanted to be mad, but I couldn’t say I blamed her entirely. It could have been the way the woman was dressed. Big black shades. Scarf tied around her head. Over the scarf, a big hat tilted down, the kind Pa wore with a suit. A pair of man’s pants. Fern clung to me. Cecile looked more like a secret agent than a mother. But I knew she was Cecile. I knew she was our mother….

Cecile finally turned as she got to the glass doors and looked to see where we were. When we caught up, she said, “Ya’ll have to move if you’re going to be with me.” (18-19)

It is an amazing summer of connections but not between Cecile and her girls but the community and the girls; a world far away from their sheltered life with Big Ma and their Pa. Here they go to get dinner for themselves from the Chinese restaurant on the corner. They become part of life at the Black Panter Community Center. As they move into the larger picture of the world, Cecile realizes a thing or two about these girls she does not claim.

My thoughts: I loved reading about this era and felt Rita Williams-Garcia did a great job of portraying this very hip, yet dark time in our history. Each character had very distinct qualities and even Cecile had some hidden treasures with in her odd personality. Even though I despised her abandonment I know in my heart many women are just not mothers. The sisters are loveable and fiesty-how could Cecile not love them fully-and end up understanding her despite her shortcomings as a mother. I think this one will win an award or two!

Other Reviews:

Stacy at Welcome to my Tweendom
Nicki at Dog Ear
Jennifer Represents…
Sommer Reading

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